Sans Fanfare

Just another day.

I used to believe that its only a cliche when people use to describe their birthdays. And of course, modesty being the main emphasis of that slightly pretentious remark.

Though, this year for me its very much what it means....

Days before the 20th; I had alot to think about. I thought of how people generally treated each other. I thought about what it really means to be a true friend. And I also thought about how selfish human beings can be. I come to realise people are all the same.

We're selfish beings and we expect the world from everyone around us. But....when the tables are turned; we never bother to return gestures that we hoped others would offer us.

Its one sarcastic way to relate to the phrase; "Do un-to others, what you want others to do un-to you."

Still, besides all that....this year's birthday for me was really below the radar. Didnt celebrate at all. All I did was went to Robertson Walk to catch the FA Cup finals with Ho, Boss and Irma. After that, a quick supper and headed home.

And finally for the big day today? Well, just went out with Ho to help him set up his new PC system and thats about it. Been surfing the net and sleeping the rest of the entire afternoon. In many ways..... it just didnt feel like it was a special day.

Looking back, I cant complain much. I remembered years ago on my 22nd birthday.....went down as the most memorable days in history for me.

I was still in Penang and my ex was in Singapore. On the night of the 19th, she gave me a real pleasant surprised and she told me she was back in Penang to celebrate my birthday with me. Ecstatic, I prepared for the next day ever so looking forward to see her.

BUT........turns out she called me in the morning and told me it was that-time-of-the-month and she needed me to run some errands for her - since she didnt feel like going out. So, there I was driving around Penang with a list of chores to get done......on my birthday.

Compared that to this year? I guess this year it aint so bad.

Anyway, I was thinking to myself since its my birthday today and I was at Sim Lim..... it was pretty much inevitable I should get something for myself. And since I just squandered a couple of hundred bucks earlier this month on my new spanking 8600GTS graphic card and Wireless Laser mouse......... obviously there's only one thing left to get........

Say HELLO to my new BARRACUDA GAMING MOUSE PAD!!!!!!

Another Weekend.....

Its becoming routine stayin home on weekends and watch movies and eating junk food. There's nowhere interesting to go anyway. Might as well pig out at home I guess.

The live Arsenal match ongoing now has been disappointing so far. Lack of flair and determination, somehow it feels like the players are struggling from the minute 1.

Oh well.....thats football for you I guess.

These days, I'm not too sure why....But somehow I have this feeling like I'm waiting for something to happen. I'm not too sure what it is...but it feels like my life is now currently idle. Just waiting for that one event that will change my life. Then again. I'm not too sure if its a good thing.

Been extremely busy with work lately. Other than the normal work loads, being part of this year's Reccomm starts to feel more like an irritating chore rather than anything else. I still remember when I was first selected to join; I was told not to let my Reccom duties spill over to my personal time - simply because it shouldnt be a burden, but an extra-curicular activity of the company.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Still, being in Reccom did stir up my interest in designing again - since I'm suppose to be the Design Guy (among other tonnes of responsibilities) in the committee. So far I have designed (amateurishly) 5 creatives for 2 different events.

M1 CS Fatt Choy CNY Celebrations 2007

M1 CS Bowling Tournament 2007

As you can see, it isnt exactly the Mona Lisa. No doubt there are some typos here and there; and its rough around the edges.....but I'm kinda happy with it =)

Tale of 2 Countries

Ok, its my 3rd off day and I'm still feeling like shit. Apparently the so-called "feeling-better" last night as a false positive. Woke up today sneezing, wheezing and like head's been rolled over by a 4x4. Though, I guess the day was not entirely wasted.

Managed to get my hands of 2 of Clint Eastwood's latest movies; Flags Of Our Fathers and Letters From Iwo Jima. These 2 movies are directed by Clint Eastwood himself and of course, produced by Steven Spielberg. I was expecting many battle scenes ala Saving Private Ryan with much dramatic fanfare. However, I was pleasantly surprised otherwise.

These 2 movies depicts the one of the last few battles of World War 2. The story takes place entirely on the island of Iwo Jima, the last standing island between the US before they bombarded Hiroshima with the A-bomb. Still, the ingenious part of about bringing this story from history books to the silver screen is telling it from 2 different perspective. Hence, Flags Of Our Fathers is told from an American perspective; while Letters From Iwo Jima told it from a Japanese perspective.

Its really surreal to watch these 2 movies back to back. And somehow you cant help but to feel empathetic for the soldiers fighting from each side. Though, you might also be wondering what's so special about this particular battle of Iwo Jima? Well, to the world; thats where the iconic "shot" was taken. 5 American soldiers hoisting up a pole with the American flag - albeit there was some confusion over the identities of the actual soldiers involved.

In essence, in the end there no who's right or wrong; who's more patriotic. In the end, its about humanity. No doubt countries have their differences. But because when you have assholes at the top making a jackass's decision......everyone's going to hell.

I suggest watching Flags Of Our Father's first. Then move on to Letters From Iwo Jima. Somehow the latter feels more humane and paints a better picture of what the soldiers have to deal with during man's darkest hours.

ummmm...then again, if you're no history buff or fan of mar movies...there's always Ken Watanabe's stellar performance =)

Gone Public

Hey people! I'm back.

After months of hiatus, somehow today I found the inspiration to update my blog. And whats more, I also decided to go public again. For the uninitiated, I made my blog "private" a few months back cos I found out my-ass-of-a-brother was showing my mum my blog. Personally, there are just somethings you rather not let your parents know. No point getting them worried about my personal trials and tribulations.

BUT.....now that my brother have moved out from my parent's place; I guess its time to come out of "hiding" =)

So what have I been doing of late? (since my last entry was in January). Well, sad to say nothing much I guess. Been working like a dog ever since I joined CR. Though its not really a bad thing.

The work itself is fulfilling....and the OTs contributed? Rewarding. Been hitting a minimum of 30 hours every month. Cant really complain about the extra moolah....now that I'm subjected to 15% CPF deductions!!! Arrrggg!!! By next Feb, it'll be 20%. Sigh....

Anyway, I finally had a good rest this weekend. Been working non-stop for the past 3 weeks; I'm finally able to clear my off-in-lieu tomorrow. Of course, this would mean a 3 day weekend for me!!! Hahahahah.....for all those of you who have to wake up tomorrow to face the Monday blues, Eat Your Socks!!!!

Then again....the moment you thought I'd have a splendid weekend. Think again. There I was. Last Friday afternoon. Got off out of office at 3pm to recky the venue for this year's CS Bash, I got home at 5pm. Would you believe that!?!?!!? For the first time in months, I was home when there's still daylight on a weekday. Sheesh.

But later that night.....the stupidest thing happened. I was caught in the rain and I'm now down with fever and flu. Just my luck. With an extended weekend, all I did was stayed at home. The worst thing about staying alone and falling sick is taking care of yourself. Too sick to get out of bed, too lazy to do anything else.

Still, I am feeling better already =)

Other than that, I've been "cleaning" up my PC which I have long neglected. Manage to tidy up my folder system and decided to revamp my desktop.

I know, I know....I'm into that geek/nerd mode again. But hey.....look at my desktop now!!!! Aint it cool?!?!?! Its called "The Endless" by Neil Gaiman. Google it. It features 7 siblings - Desire, Despair, Destiny, Dream, Death, Delirium, Destruction. Interesting stuff.

Hehehe. Oh, how we find joy in the simple things in life.

Life is at a state of constipation

Well, here I am again. I decided to post another entry before I really start to forget my blogger account password.

It has been definitely a while back since my last entry. In retrospect, sometimes I have no idea what to update with regard my life.

Nevertheless, I feel a chink in my neck every time I procrastinate updating my blog. In a way I know how much fun it is to re-visit the old memories that I've logged here. This blog consist of the best and worse of my life for the past 3 years. For every special date, event or anniversary; I would flip back these digital pages and ask myself what was I doing, where was I or who was I with.

Christmas, New Year, Valentines, birthdays. One year's of comparison to the previous one.

=========================================

Anyway, so what have I been up to lately? Nothing much. Work, work, work and more work. I know that I have complained about being too busy before. But these days its different. In some strange way, I feel that the work I do these days is much more meaningful.

Being busy for meaningful reasons is much more fulfilling that being busy doing monotonous "chores" on a daily basis. These days; I solve so-called "mysteries" and "miseries".

After some time, one tends to adapt to one's profession. Personally I feel its a good thing that I've been kept busy. I have forgotten about the bitter taste of being alone and of course; being single. No more sad lonely nights depriving and feeding-in self pity on Saturday nights.

Strangely, I have lost the interest to be hip/happening and longing to go on dates during the weekend.

Dont get me wrong....I am still looking for the right one. And I do enjoy the company of friends and going on casual dates. But then again, when you're that busy, who has the time to think about love?

I always tell myself.......when people complain about work; they see the day as one huge busy day. And from time to time, they take a breather during the day - smoke breaks, coffee breaks.

From the way I see it, my work starts on Monday......and it goes like a unstoppable-unwavering-locomotive till Friday. You wanna talk about breaks and breathers? The only breather I have is when I get home to sleep at nights.

Of course, things wouldnt be so busy if my company didnt launch that crap of a service they call broadband. Dont get me started. I could go on and on and on and on to condemn the damn thing.
Still.......life is still mundane for me. It has always been. The only difference is that I'm only busier these days and I take satisfaction of my current work.

Oh one thing before I forget too. Kinda happy with myself with one aspect. You see, one of my New Year's resolution is to stay as far away as I can from my ex. Like I said in the last post....she's nothing but trouble.

And...relating to this; she tried to contact me today via MSN for God-knows-how-long. Immediately she asked me about getting a driver's license in Singapore. I just told that I dont know much and thats about it. I didnt want to get into any long winded conversation with her and I didnt even wanted to know why she's getting a driver's license. Most probably she wanted to brag about getting a new boyfriend with a car and all.

Well, I can say is....screw it. Dont come and tell me about your life, cos I'm not interested.

Yeah, people can say bygones be bygones. But this gal has practically ruined my life once. No doubt we are still "friends"; but she still has the means to hurt me. Finally now, I'm stamping my foot down and say "No more".

No more emotional turmoil from her.

So thats about it. After a short hiatus from blogging, thats the update I have for now. Other than all of the above, the only rant I have is a slight case of constipation. And even for that.....I went out to buy a pack of Vitagen earlier. Been gushing it down ever since.

Lets hope the toilet bowl comes calling soon.

At this point in time.....my life reminds an old song; Barely Breathing by Duncan Sheik. Some of you might remember it. Sad, desperate and unrelenting. But sounds DAMN GOOD.

C'est la vie.

New Year.....again.

Its the New Year.

I know. Its been a while since I blogged. And how apt that my return to blogging would be the first day of 2007.

Well, what can I say? Cant say I had an exciting new year countdown. Cant say I had a happy partying time at the stroke of midnight.

Where was I? At the stroke of midnight....I was in the cinema watching Death Note 2. Yup.

In retrospect, I guess its like what people say....this is as good as it get.

Sigh....deep in my heart I truly hope 2007 will be a better year for me. 2006 was just a total waste of time. Achieved nothing....tore up my career.....squander my finances....and allow myself to be hurt again emotionally.

I have slowly begin to understand that maybe I'm not meant for great things. Many call it resigning to fate. Guess they're right.

And to top it all off.....Christmas 2006 was really bitter sweet. Not many people know I guess. But thats the part where I allowed myself to be vulnerable again. Something which I swore I never allow myself to be victim of. Christmas this year was about the happiest time of my life in Singapore....and also the saddest.

I saw 2 worlds. 2 different lives I could have lived. What my life could be. Sad to say....I lost the one I treasured the most.

Right about now.....I can safely conclude where I stand in that person's eyes.....and heart.

Sigh.....I hate this feeling. How can someone love another so much that the other person feels totally opposite. Nothing. Where does one do all this feelings and emotions? No matter how much I hate to admit it....somethings are not meant to be.

What can I do? Nothing much really. Just keep it to myself.

As with my ex-gf, guess things finally died down. I realised the less I see of the and the less I contact her....the better it is. Whenever our lives crosses path, it always results in a disaster. Nothing goos will come out of it....

And ever since I decided to stop contacting her.....that part of my life finally found peace.

I really hope 2007 will be a better year. Yet......I have nothing to ask from God. Just a "thank you" for seeing me thru my toughest times. I am already thankful I have my health and my family to support me.

I hope I can be strong.

2 Weddings and 1 CS Bash

After 2 weddings and 1 CS Bash, you can say my wallet's pretty much been through some tough times.

But then again, its been a really rewarding week. So much so that the week went by in a flash. For work itself, I am starting to get alot of hardcore cases....which I'm glad to say I manage to clear a good many of them.

As for the CS Bash, must admit its pretty lame compared to the previous ones I attended. Though, the saving grace about the even itself was the after event party.

We proceeded to go over to Attica at Clark Quay.

Its been a while since I clubbed, must admit it feels abit weird. No matter how hard I try....its just not in me to "play around" while clubbing. I can never bring myself to flirt around and get all touchy feely with the gals. No matter how inviting they are.

Sigh. Sometimes I wish I was someone else and be one of those play boys and have some fun. Still dunno wats stopping me anyway.

And talking about this.....kinda reminded me of my ex. Another...sigh.

After all this while, even now we're friends.....she still has the ability to hurt me. I have no idea whats going on with me. Sometimes when I meet up with her from time to time....I still question myself what to expect from the outing.

For instance, was suppose to meet up with her for the new Bond movie. I was really excited to watch the movie and further she promised she'll watch it with me.

And guess what? When I checked with her again, she told me she already watched it and she wont be able to meet up.

After that. I had no idea what to feel. Dissapointed? Angry? Sad? Frustrated?

I really have no idea. We've broken up for almost 2 years now. And WHY am I feeling this way? All I know is that she still have what it takes to hurt this heart of mine.

For now, atleast I have reprieve from this song a friend of mine sent me. Really meaningful lyrics. How I wish I can...Breathe Again.

Have you wondered how it feels when it''s all over
　　Wondered how would it feels when you just have to start a new
　　Never knowing where you''re going when you face a brand new day
　　It used to be that way Now I just close my eyes and say
　　
　　I just wanna breathe again
　　Learn to face joy and pain
　　Discover how to laugh a little , cry a little , live a little more
　　I just wanna face the day
　　Forget about the worse of yesterday
　　Maybe if I hope a little , try a little more
　　I ''ll breathe again
　　
　　Starting out again is never easy
　　Disappointments come and go , but life still moves on
　　With a bit of luck , it ''s brand new start
　　That might just work my way
　　No need to walk away
　　Don ''t want to live on life replay
　　
　　I just want to breathe again
　　Learn to face joy and pain
　　Discover how to laugh a little , cry a little , live a little more
　　I just want to face the day
　　Forget about the worse of yesterday
　　Maybe if I hope a little , try a little more
　　I ''ll breathe again
　　
　　Things will work out fine
　　If you can find the courage to look past the night
　　To see the break of dawn
　　
　　I just want to breathe again
　　Learn to face joy and pain
　　Discover how to laugh a little , cry a little , live a little more
　　I just want to face the day
　　Forget about the worse of yesterday
　　Maybe if I hope a little , try a little more
　　I ''ll breathe again
　　
　　Oh breathe again

My new wallpaper!!!

Well, its been an interesting weekend. On Saturday, I went to the Singapore International Car Show 2006. And boy did I enjoy enjoy myself. First, there were plenty of cars.....and of course later; there's the real eye candy. Hehe.

I took plenty of pics. But the one I like the most was this one. I've even used it as my desktop wallpaper =)

Aint it cool? I still think photographically; its perfect!!!

And later on Sunday, I attended Joelle's wedding dinner at Grand ParkRoyal hotel. And as usual, it was like a reunion of sorts with ex-colleagues that have left M1.

Heaven?

Sigh. I guess its better this way.

These days I'm pretty hesitant to update my blog. Not known to many, my life right now isnt exactly a bed of roses.

And what made matters worst. Is that my brilliant brother decided to introduce my blog to my mum. Though, not that I have anything to hide from my mum, but I dont want her to read about my sadness and frustrations.

So, comes along this new service by Blogger Beta. Restricted access on my personal blog.

I never thought I would ever had to resort to this. But still.....having this feature now makes me feel a lil bit more at ease. Now I can bitch, curse, swear and pour out all my frustrations and anger.

What tops the list these days is financially related I guess. For all the hardwork I put in to these years; I have to start all over again. Start saving from scratch. No way I'm touching any of the savings I have back in Penang.

So, what does that leave me? Lower salary compared to 3 years ago. Increasing rental and standard of living. And a huge credit card debt that I have no idea when will I be able to clear. And the worst part? Spending money unnecessarily on people that I have no idea cares for me or not. Still....sometimes you cant measure friendship with the amount of money you spend on them.

Today I had an interesting though infuriating chat with a couple of friends. We were basically just joking around seeing that the weather is rainy, nice and cooling.

Then a friend mentioned, "How nice if we're at Marina South now enjoying a nice steamboat dinner. Heaven".

The moment he said that, naturally I'd want to retort by saying something witty. But then.....it really got me thinking. What is the definition of Heaven to me? Is it winning millions of dollars from the Toto draw? Is it going on a cruise ship holiday in the Carribean? Is it being back in Penang with all my friends?

No.

Somehow, I couldnt explain it. The one simple idea of Heaven to me at that point in time....waking up late in the day with the aroma of home cooked food all prepared.

Thats my idea of Heaven.

Then here comes the infuriating part. Another friend of mine just insensitively commented on my idea of heaven, "Aiya, dreams can be dreams la. Open your eyes and wake up to reality."

By then I really feel like giving him one tight slap. The reason I mentioned my idea of Heaven in the first place was to illustrate how lucky they are. How lucky to have someone by their side everyday. Caring for them. Loving them.

For me, its a daily routine that I have to go out everyday to buy packet-food. Never once have the luxury having someone eat with me for company. Me sitting at home, eating my meals in front of the TV. Day in. Day out.

Alone.

Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind.

2 Graveyards. Hangover. Still standing.

Friday, 13th 2006. Many would say its a sibeh suay day. But then again, its totally opposite for me.

Havent had this much fun for a very long time. And of all days; well......thats what's ironic about the whole thing. Hehe.

The CR department had its teambuilding yesterday. Everyone was in a joy joy mood seeing that we all only had to work half day yesterday to participate in the teambuilding. And of all places, it was held at the Settler's Inn at Holland V. Interesting huh?

Well, for those of you that haven't been to Settler's Inn; basically the places is like a cybercafe. Except, the PCs are replaced with......board games. I must admit it was a pretty cool place if you're in the mood for some board gaming fun with a couple of friends. And if you're feeling a lil bit hungry, the establishment do serve a variety of stuff....from finger food to chicken chop, fish and chips, etc. But..........then again whether the food is edible; different story.

After the teambuilding, a few of us decided to chill out at Wala-Wala. I'm sure I've mention this place in my blog before. Its a nice waterring hole for those people who just finished work and wanna crash somewhere. Though, the only gripe I have about the place is the customer service. It sucks.

Anyway, the night turned out to be quite fun. It came to a point everyone was drinking non-stop. And a few of us of cos hit a high-high-happy-happy-joy-joy mood. Unfortunately, I was one of them.

After having 2 pints of Kilkennys', I was sabo-ed into having another 2 Graveyards. Thank god I could still walk after that....

my second Graveyard...yeah baby!!

Like I said it in the beginning, it really has been a while I had this much fun. Chillin out with colleagues, making fun of each other and didnt had a care in the world.....

Damn, its true. When you have alcohol; everyone's your friend.

Corporate Buyout

Over night BILLIONAIRES. Thats what's on everbody's mind right now. Its not about being rich. Its not about the 7 digit figures anymore.

Its more like being...insanely rich.

Yup, I'm refering to Chad and Steve. Owners of YouTube. And seriously? If you havent heard of YouTube? Reality check. You've been living under a stone. Shoot yourself. In the head. Twice. Geez....why bother. I'd shoot you myself.

Anyway, these selft proclaimed Internet Video kings have made a pretty penny for themselves. And the reason.....Google. Just less than 48 hours ago, YouTube have been bought over by Google for a whopping US$ 1.6billion. Yeah...read me right, US$ 1.6 billion. With this move, I guess Google's in the run for one of the most versatile search engine yet.

The best part of the whole story is the price that Google paid for the acquisition. Just think about it.....YouTube has only been established for 2 years. Which means, in just merely 2 years.....this company has grown from a backyard video sharing project, to America's Fortune 500! Its totally unbelievable.

Trust me, 2 years ago.....no financier or investor in his right mind would ever predict how fast YouTube would grow. Of course, YouTube owes its growth to videos like these.....

Apparently this particular clip was the MOST viewed video in its server. With over 33 million views in just 6 months. Hehe....really alot of free people out there.

=================================================

On another note....well, I finally got my last pay cheque from my ex-employer. Thank God. Its been a seriously harrowing experience all together, and I'm really glad that I'm able to close this chapter in my life and move on. If you'd ask me....I have nothing to do with that company anymore.

I'm happy with where I am, and most importantly I'm with the company of good friends. So much so that we had a small dinner the other day that really brought back memories.

There used to be this particular stall in West Coast Road where it serves a mean dish of Koh Loh Yok and claypot noodles. Trust me, its really good. But just a few months ago, we heard the coffeeshop it was operating in closed down.

So, just when we thought that we had had our last Koh Loh Yok......we got wind that the stall had moved to Teban Gardens. Immeadiately 3 words came to mind....MAI THU LIAU!!!!!!

Man...most satisfying....slurp!!!

Sibeh Suay

So, I guess it was another nua weekend for me.

Hehe...friends have been complaining that I've just been sleeping thru the entire weekend. Which is true.

Other than going out for a drink and movie after work on Friday, been doing nothing but sleep, eat and watching series for Saturday and Sunday.

Oh ya, by the way. The movie I saw was World Trade Center. Must admit, its was kinda poignant in a way that it totally avoids the spin on terrorism. It wasnt about the attack on America. It wasnt about the Al-Qaeda. It didnt even had any political message or agenda.

It was only about the story of 2 port authority police officers who went thru 9/11. The movie told their story. And thats about it.

The part that hit me the most was the ending. There was this scene in the end that shows all the "missing persons" notices on a wall in a New York hospital. But if memory serves, I remember watching the enws 5 years ago that there were literally thousands of "missing persons" notices that were pasted all over New York. It was kinda toned down in the movie.

After some thought....then only I realised the rationale of editing out all the other notices. You see, the film makers wanna make you feel good in the end of the movie. It wasnt a movie aimed at making you feel sorrowful, sad or deppressed about 9/11. As a matter of fact, it wanted to make you feel good....make the Americans proud that they have survived 9/11. A celebration of survival of man kind.

So all in all, it was an average movie for me. The objective of the movie wasnt exactly in-line with my expectation of the movie. Cant fault a movie for that.

Anyway.....I guess by now.....why the title for this entry? Well, let me start.

Was lazing around at home today. So, around lunch time I thought of walking over to the nearest Maybank (about 10 mins walking distance) ATM to draw some cash. And guess what? When I got there.....the ATM was down. Second time this week.

Feeling abit pissed, I called up the Maybank hotline to give them my feedback. And then, I was told as an alternative, I could withdraw money from HSBC's ATM instead. So, thats all good and fine.

Later this evening....I made my way all the way to PS. And once I got to the HSBC ATM there......the friggin ATM jammed and my card got stuck!!!!!! Boy was I PISSED!!!

Immeadiately I called up Maybank and HSBC. Neither one of them could do anything. But I really gave it to the Maybank CSO (in a nice way of course). I talked to the guy about the whole issue starting with my first attempt at drawing cash from their ATM. To be honest, I wouldnt be so pissed if this is the first time their ATM failed on me.

Mulfuctioning twice in a week? I mean cmon! Do something about it already.

Anyway, I gave them my feedback and requested for a follow-up. The worst part.....is HSBC will be destroying my ATM card and I need to go down personally to one of Maybank's branches to collect it myself. I put it across to the Maybank CSO, "So, since I'm working 9am to 6pm from Mondays to Fridays; looks like I'll have to collect my card next Saturday? Where do you suggest I get money then?".

Though, I must admit I was pretty pissed at that time. I apologised to the CSO and told him he didnt have to answer my question.

Moving on to bigger things though......I am feeling like I'm wasting alot of my time away. Life is really passing me by and I'm not doing much. Started feeling like this when I heard one of my friends will be getting married soon.

Sigh.....I'm sure that time will come, the feeling of dejection when your peers are getting married; moving on with life. And conversely, I'm still stuck at this stage of life.....getting older, not any wiser.

And to top it all off.....my ex-employer still havent paid me my last month's salary!!!!! Talk about hypocrites!!! These people are always like that. When they need you....they do some of the things for you. But when you are of no use to them? They take their own sweet time. Heck...for all I know I might not even get paid at all. And they owe me about $1.5k!!!

And so far they have not been responding no any of the emails I've sent them. Soon, I'll be considering to seek assistance from MOM.

Friggin cheapos.

Thats why I said folks. Never work for a small time company who thinks they own the world. I rather work for a corrupt, western, bureaucratic, backstabbing organisation anytime.

Blurry by Puddle of Mudd

Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i'll protect you
from all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it my face

Everyone is changing
there's noone left that's real
to make up your ending
and let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

[Chorus]

Nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you when to runaway
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you when to runaway

[Chorus]

This pain you give to me

you take it all
you take it all away...
explain again to me
you take it all away
explain again to me
take it all away
explain again

I want my life back

Finally its the last weekend of my unemployment. And seems like I'm already getting busy even before I started work.

Last night Boss Alzari invited me to my old department's BBQ bash...... and boy, I enjoyed myself.

Its been a while since I'm in the company of so many good friends and people who support me. Initially I had my reservations about going back to M1 only after 3 months of my resignation. Gossip mongers spreading rumours is almost inevitable.

But then again....after last night, all my worries are laid to rest. I felt in a way, I was welcomed back in open arms and it really made me feel that I belonged there. Supportive colleagues, caring friends......in many ways thats what anyone could ever asked for.

Trust me, I know. Recently I've been seeing alot of things which really made me think about what makes a good or bad friend. For instance, I have a friend who's popular; goes clubbing every weekend, partying and such. But when it comes down to it.....when she gets drunk....everyone seems to just go by their own way and go home. The responsibility of a friend is not present at all.

True...when it comes down to it, its the people who sticks by you without prejudice during the lowest points in your life. With this in mind.....so far, I know I'm blessed to have good friends throughout my difficult times. I'm blessed to have gotten to know Donald, Ho, Alan and my boss, Alzari.

Lets just say life would be a much horrible ordeal to endure without them.

Nonetheless, I really enjoyed myself last night during the BBQ. One of the biggest highlights of the BBQ is even getting to see my "long lost sister" Cassie!!! No doubt she's not in M1 anymore, but she was invited as well. Man.......I do miss her alot. It was definately good to see her again.

Then of course, another highlight of the night was our regular drinking session after the BBQ. During this period, everyong just hangs back and enjoy the booze and talk-cock-sing-song. Really feels like the good old days =)

Haha....and man its been a while since I drank. We had multiple concoctions of Baileys, Absolut and wine. By the end of the night (and multiple shots) - about 2am, we were all in a few good mood....just chilling out.

After that, Ho, Alzari and me decided to prolong the night and went for the famous Boon Lay nasi lemak for supper. By the time I got home......5am.

I miss this life.

Guess its about the right time.....

.................

Well, what can I say? Its been a while.

Its been a while since I updated my blog. Its been a while since I have anything worth writing. Its been a while since........my life turned upside down.

Sigh....and I guess its about time to start blogging again. And who knows, maybe the people who frequent my blog has stopped visiting my site. Well, cant say thats exactly a bad thing. Sometimes I'd rather certain individuals don't read my blog at all.

So, what have I been up to for the past month or so? Well, alot. Firstly, I resigned from my job. Thats right. I was unemployed for an entire month. Cant say this period has been exactly a walk in the park. Constantly worried about my finances, worried about my future and worried about my survival. Cos' to me, no work means no money. No money means no rent. No rent means no roof over my head.

Insecured, panicky, anxious....you name it. I was a total wreck.

But hold on a minute. The big question. Why did I resigned in the first place? Well, alot of reasons. Not about to go into the details though. But basically the whole ordeal was like going thru hell. So much so I had to leave within 24 hours.

Hence, there I was. Jobless and clueless about what I was suppose to do after that.

Then, the mother of all ironies happened. I went back to M1. Yeah.......I know. I'll say it again. Ironic.

Just about 3 months ago, I left M1. Thought of starting a new career into Marketing. And then life decides to take a cruel twist and there I was back in M1 again. Still, going back isnt exactly bad (thats what I tell myself). But then again, I might have done it out of sheer desperation....but I have to admit that the job package offered by M1 isnt too shabby.

And the reprieve I get? Atleast I'm not going back to the Call Center. I'll be dealing with a whole new level of shit - Customer Resolutions.

In the end, I learned alot from the whole episode. Alot of drama. Alot of emotional turmoil. Sigh.....and all this drama doesnt even involve a girl. Dammit.

Anyway, throughout that difficult period, when you have nobody to turn to; one can only turn to the devine for guidance. I prayed. I went to the temple to pray. Yeah I know...it sounds pathetic. But then again, I guess its difficult to illustrate what I was going thru emotionally.

Eventually, things started to get better. It always does. As I have landed a job back with M1, alot of other things in my life fell into place too, which subsequently even allowed me to travel to Japan for a short holiday. Unexpected huh?

Well, its been up and down for me for the past month. Until now, I still have a few nagging worries on my mind. But then again, everyone has problems. Just have to learn to deal with it.

So far, so good

Check it out!!! Just look at the time. Its 4.12am!!!! And I'm feeling damn good about it. Well, you see...I just came home from my "second" supper.

Let me explain.

The weekend has been moving along pleasantly well. What I thought would be a quiet Saturday night at home; somehow became quite an enjoyable one.

Unlike to many peers my age, whenever Saturday nights comes along....their idea of fun is clubbing, drinking and stoning themselves. But all my life, I havent really gotten use to that as an idea of a good time. Once in a while, I don't mind the occasional clubbing....but somehow, I rather spend my time chatting with good friends over a good meal.

Tonight is one good example.

Don, Alan and I decided to go for a quick supper around 9pm. And as usual, we talked alot and we ate alot. Of course, I always enjoy their company and somehow, coming out for supper at these hours always reminds me of home.

Later, as I got home about 12am, I received another call about 2am. It was my former Boss, Alzari - though until now I still call him Boss. And again, we went for another supper! Hence, my "second" supper.

Yeah, I know its fattening. But I swear I only had drinks the second time around. *burp*

Anyway, Boss is a person whom I seriously respect. The first few managers who I reported to when I was in M1. And definately one of the few people that I will never forget. It was really nice to see him again as we updated each other on the ongoings of our professional lives and....personal lives. In the end, he did give me good advice about my current employment; always supportive.

So, if you'd asked me how's my weekend so far?

So far, so good.

A great start....

Well, its just Friday evening and I'm already having a great start to the weekend...touchwood.

Right off the bat from work, I kinda excused myself to leave on time cos I had a dinner appointment. And even with some pending items to close......I have learned to psycho myself that I have to take things a little bit easier.

So, after work...I rushed off to Maxwell foo0dcourt where I was meeting Don, Alan and Ho for dinner. And boy....it was really a good dinner.

We ordered 1 whole chicken from the famous chicken rice stall and a few other side dishes. And the whole atmosphere of 4 buddies eating together is just....comfortable. Whenever I think of it...it really brings me back to the Hong Kong movie scenes where you have 4 "hou heng tai" sitting around, eating steamboat.

Anyway, we had a few good laughs. Especially when Ho commented Chinatown got alot of Chinese.....Immediately all of us burst out in laughter. Its like you're going to India and say...."Here got alot of Indians hor?"

After that, we adjourned back to my place and chilled out. Then suddenly we had this great idea..... Since we were free and got nothing much to do. And whats the best use of time?

Learn and hone a new skill of course. So, this is what we ended up doing for the night...till 12am. Like our Sifu said, "Mahjong. Sometimes......its better than sex". Haha...

What the?!?!?!

I almost died of a heart attack when I got home today. No there wasnt any burglar. No there wasnt any stripper waiting for me (I wish....). But a mere letter.

When I saw that letter, I was freaked out. I was tensed. I nearly died.

The letter was from.....

Only 2 words came to mind. National Service. Cos I heard of some rumours before that even PRs were suppose to go for National Service. I mean, you'll never know. Under one of those friggin-small-they-aspect-people-to-see-with-magnifying-eyes fine print; I might have obliviously agreed for NS.

Then when I slowly ripped open the letter......phew.

You see, in Singapore they wanna notify you of everything. And in this case, they wanted to notify me that I was EXEMPTED from National Service. Goddamnit.....why have I never received any letter informing me that I'm exempted from taxes? Fug.

Anyway, the letter continue to mention I am exempted cos I'm a first generation PR. Which also means to say.....if I settle down here, my kid will be looking at 2 years of NS.

Well, what can I say...... That's his problem.

Monthly Round-Up

Oh man, where do I begin? Its been really a while now since I have managed to update my blog. And to be honest, I really miss it.

These days, every night when I come home, all I wanna do is hit the sack. And on every weekends, all I wanna do is stone in front of the idiot box. Guess since, its public holiday today (Singapore National Day) - which dont really come by often......this is a good time as any other to finally update my blog.

So, back to the same question....where do I begin? Maybe its time to do a reflection on how things have been for the past couple of months.

So, lets go.

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Since I left M1, there's been much turbulent times. Not what I was expecting, my new job has taken a turn for rough seas.

I find myself stubling from one mistake to another and really strggling to find my "Marketing" foot. Most of the times, I learn things from making mistakes rather than being point the right direction. Sure, one can argue making mistakes is fine and you'll learn from it and other bla bla bla reasons. But when you're working for a perfectionist, mistakes are things that you cannot afford.

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Though, I do have my reprieves at times. Small little things that makes my day a little bit better. As I mentioned in my previous post.....I really pamper myself when we finished one major project at work. So, I'm gonna touch on one of my favourite subjects...FOOD!!!

First off...my boss took us to a Japanese restauraunt along East Coast, Waraku. My take on it? Good food; and affordable considering the posh settings. The selection was pretty extensive. And not to mention the unique little desserts that we ordered. I have seen these assortments of desserts before, but never really had the chance to try it.

This dish looks like an apple, no? Its actually ice-cream with chocolate in the center!

And at that following weekend...boy oh boy did I slurge on food.

There was a trip to Ma Maison's. I have nothing but praise for this place. Its really one of those cozy/unique/contemporary restaurants. And the best part? They serve fusion food....to be exact, Western Japanese food. Weird huh? Anyhow, I was only there for something light and some drinks. Still...I'm definately going back there for a hearty main course! *wanna try da escargos*

And finally.....the muther of all meals and dinners. Which literally shove a wooden stake thru my wallet's heart. Non other than Ah Yat Abalone. And trust me.....it was WORTH EVERY PENNY!!!!!

Well, its thru that I might be crying all the way to the bank. But hey....once you have a taste of their food.....sheer heaven.

When I was there, me and my friend ordered the set dinner. They had several different sets on menu, though being me; I decided to aim for the top few. The set I chose consist of a 6 course meal (I think).

I was so indulged in my food that I only remembered to take 1 pictures of my dinner. However, what surprised me the most is the fish!!! I was generally expecting the best dish out of the 6 was the abolone, but when I finally had the chance to taste the fish....its one of the BEST I have ever tasted!!!! My friend told me its was they call "snow fish"... of course this is the dialect or nickname of the fish. I have no idea of its actual name.
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Moving on, something related to food as well.......I had 2 really good dinners over the weekend.

On Sunday, I was invited to attend the Joo Chiat National Day Dinner at the Neptune restaurant along Collyer Quay. Must admit, it was my first "political dinners" and I had no idea what to expect. Naturally there were alot of politicians and Grass Root Leaders. These are more or less like our Assembly men back in Malaysia. And then, there was of course the Guest of Honor which is Mr. Chan Soo Sen, a Member of Parliament for the Joo Chiat Constituency.

It was a surreal experience. No doubt the on-stage performances was really entertaining, but I felft akward everytime they asked everyone to stand up and sing the Singapore National Day song and anthem. With that, I was still cool about it. But then........the one thing that left me speechless the most. Reciting the Singapore Pledge!

I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm not exactly in love with my home country and at the same time you don't see me knocking on doors to apply for Singapore citizenship. Still, it just feels weird from a foreigner's point of view.

Nuff' said. One thing is confirmed. If I was ever to be caught on video or tape....I'll never be able to run for Malaysian politics. Ever. For god's sakes, I even had a funky neon-light blinking Singapore flag-badge pasted on my shirt the entire night!!!!
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And lastly, the dinner that made me happiest in months. As usual....steamboat at home. Had the usual gang over for steamboat and it was really good to see all of them again.

I even manage to go back to M1 in the afternoon before the steamboat. I was so happy and nostalgic to see all my ex-colleagues and bosses. As usual, my ex-bosses are as supportive as ever. Really miss all of them.

Then later, went to Carrefour with Donald to pick up the food...and little did we know....we bought too much. Haha.

In the end, I really enjoyed myself. I was only thinking.....how nice if everyday could be like that.

Thank Heavens Its Over

Its about time I updated my blog.

Feels like I never have the time for anything these days. Blogging, couch-potato-ing, sleeping....all seems are taking a back seat. Its been work, work, work.

Though, I do hope that things can slow down from now on - now that all the major events are over.

Its been hell seriously. Staying in office for more than 15 hours everyday, I'm constantly in a situation where a million things can go wrong. You simply cant imagine the tense and stress level. And not to mention the constant fight against gastric pains.

And to make matters worse, I'm suppose to be in-charge of the sound system during the events. And what have I learned? Never, never, never be the person in-charge of the sound system. The moments where you have to hit the music at the precise timing is damn stressful. It feels like you're shitting in your pants.

Still, I admit....I did cock-up a few times and trust me; I got a good buttering from my boss later on.

In the end, I guess its a good learning experience. The first thing I did after all this has ended was to treat myself to a good meal. And when I mean good....you better believe it. A few words came to mind......sushi, gratin and abalone.

I'll be updating my blogs with the pics of all my scrupcious dining experiences soon.

Right now....I have to head for work again.