The "Safe" Life

Its 12.20am...and I cant sleep.

As I lay on my bed, there are so many things that are running thru my mind over and over again. I can feel my body is lethargic, but my mind's like going 300 kM/h. Been thinking of how's everyone back in Penang, when's my next off day gonna be, what does Hong Kong have in store for me...or even what am I gonna have for lunch tommorow. Sheesh...maybe I'm just plain bored.

Sometimes it gets kinda frustrating when you can't exactly pin down what's bothering you. I know I have something in the back of my head that I just can't get a hold on it. So, when tat happens, I try not to think about it and surf the net.

These days, my life have stabilised again. Everything's back in its place and just the way they are. No more dramas, no more anxieties, no more dissapointments. Everyday, I go to work, I come back from work, I eat my meals, watch some TV, I go to sleep. Its a monotonous life...its a "safe" life...no ups, no downs. But sometimes I feel, is this the life that I should be living? No doubt that I chose this life style because of its simplicity. Day in and day out its the same old thing....though, I'm afraid that one day, I will come to a point where I'm so afraid of accepting any other form of commitments or obligations; just because it may disrupt my "safe" life.

The worse part about knowing all this is, I spend so much time psycho-analyzing myself, that I confused myself with all the different conclusions. Still, in the end, I feel that I have chosen this "safe" life because I don't want to be hurt or dissapointed in any way possible. Alot has happened for the past 2 years, that whatever I do seemed to remind me of my previous dissapointments and hurt. In a way, I have crawled back in to a shell and decided to lead a life that is without drama or complexities. So, in this kinda life style I live in, I don't get hurt, nobody else gets hurt.

Sigh....I'm crappin again. Whatever it is, no doubt this is a "safe" life....but one day I hope I can live a "better" life...whatever and however it may be.

Oh yeah, was browsin thru' my PC and I came across this graphic logo that I helped a friend designed. It was supposed to be for her college project, where they have this mocked-up company manufacturing a device that slices chillies. So, since chillies is the main inspiration of the logo's theme...this is what I came up with.



Kinda cool huh? But to be honest, I designed the logo by accident. I was trying out different brush strokes, and suddenly one of them looked like a chilli. Hahah..kinda like how the designer of Lara Croft accidentally made her boobs bigger.....yeah rite.