Busy Busy Busy

Look at the date!! 22nd Nov 2004!! Man, I haven't been keeping up with this blog. Sheesh. I knew this would happen. But...hehe..since its already the 22nd, it also means one thing...4 days left to pay day!!! WooOOOooOOHooOOOoo!!

Its been a real busy week. Been working day and and day out. But i guess it pays off when I receive the OT pay in next month's salary. God knows I need the cash. Anyway, hmmm...where do I start? Other than work this week, been having some fun too. You know the creedo? Work hard, play hard. I went to JB on Wednesday and really enjoyed myself. Did alot of shopping and most important of all, bought some XBOX games. Yay!! And ever since then, I have been playing my XBOX non-stop. I bought altogether 6 games, but for the moment I'm stuck like glue to Lord of the Rings: The 3rd Age. Hahahhahaha....man its good shit. And when i'm finish with this, Halo 2 here i come!!!!

okok...here comes my favourite part guys....two nights ago, I went out with 2 gorgeous babes!!! Hehe, to be more realistic, I went out for dinner after work with two colleagues. Don't get me wrong, they are still gorgeous, but all.....sadly, attached. Once in a blue moon, when a few of us strike luck and end up having the same shift, we would take the opportunity to go out for a drink or dinner. So, the other night we went to Redhill. Hmmm, can't say the food there was bad. We ordered alot of stuff....stingray, "oh-chean", satay and a few more stuff. Really had our filling. After that, one of them had to leave to meet another group of friends, while I stayed behind and accompany the other babe cos she was waiting for her boyfriend. We went to Great World City for some window shopping and I saw some stuff that I kinda like. Will be getting them when my pay is out..hhehe..

Moving on, I was watching the Singapore Aviva Badminton finals yesterday, and man did I get my hopes up when I saw the Malaysian rookie, Lee Chong Wei went up againts the Danish Kenneth Jonassen. Its been a long time since I saw a Malaysian player played like that. He was fast, agile and accurate. His court pressence and awareness was so good. Kinda like the badminton heroes of yesteryears....Foo Kok Keong, Yong Hock Kin and Wong Choon Han. He really thrashed the Danish player in the first set...15-3. But sadly after that, he kinda lost steam in the next round and manage to lose it even when he was leading the set...then on the 3rd set, he lost it entirely. I think in a way, he lost it cos he didn't have enough experience compared to the 30 year old Kenneth. But still, I'm gonna keep on eye on Lee, he's gonna come up strong with time and some coaching. About time, Malaysia brought back some Badminton glory.

Well, that about it for the last few days. And as for today, shall be leaving for work later. Another afternoon shift again. Sigh. But anyway, gotta go now, wanna have another round of Lord of the Rings before I go get lunch and get ready for work!! For Gondor!!!!!

Va Va VoOOooOoOm!!

Okay, Guys and gals...yours truly have just been to the Singapore Motorshow 2004, and it was awesome!!! It was truly a guy's dream to be there. Mean machines, fast cars and.....hot babes. Sugar, spice and everything nice.... I could not ask for more...Hahaha...*drools*

The show itself is ongoing for almost 10 days, and it's now held at the Suntec City International Convention Center. Almost every car-maker brought in their works of art and man....they were REALLY head-turners. And of course...extra kudos to Subaru for bringing in the hottest babes in the show and also organising the stunt car performance!

Nuff' said! I had the pleasure of taking tonnes of photos (erm,...haven't got my digicam yet, so had to settle for some pics taken with my camera phone) at the fair. And here's a few of them.....

This is one of the first few that we saw....the all new Mazda 8.


Then this mean looking machine here is from Alfa-Romeo.


And these trio here is from Lamborghini. I even heard one Singaporean have already booked one of them...sheesh....talk about purchasing power!


Here's some concept cars from Toyota, Honda and Chevrolet....




And finally, these 3 beauties are a few of my favourites. Needless to say, they are my favourites cos' they're the most realistic cars that I can actually purchase in my lifetime....

Number 1!!! The Hyundai Tuscani!


Number 2!!! The Peugeot 407!


And Number 3!!! The lastest Nissan Coupe!


And finally.....not wanting to leave the show without any fond memories (not that I don't have any just oogling at the cars...) I gathered up some courage and I took a pic with the best looking thang of the Motorshow. (damn my camera phone!!!! Why oh why....I should have borrowed my friend's digicam!!)

Good or Bad?

Finally...home. Well, its been a fairly uninteresting day at work today; so I guess there's nothing much to pen down. In that case....maybe I can...for once, talk about some of my thoughts about life. Yikes...I hope I don't sound too philosophically crappy. Or worse, sound like a raving lunatic.

I don't know about other people, but sometimes in life, I tend to stop and take a breath...and ask myself....have I been a good person? There are so many expectations to live up to. So many questions that are so difficult to answer. Have I been a good son? Have I been a good friend? Have I been a good brother? and....finally am I a good person? I know right now all this might sound confusing....but it really makes you evaluate yourself as a person.

What defines a man? By his actions? by his words? by his thoughts? Deep inside everyone, I believe there is this true desire that are most different from our actions. Think about it, most of the things we do are because of what we are expected to do. Our actions are so called programmed to what is acceptable to society's standards. And if we were to do what we REALLY want....then people will labelled us as a "BAD" person. In many times in my life, I'm faced with this dilemma. Our thoughts and our emotions conflicts with our actions. Then at that point of time...would you listen to your heart? or your head. Thats when you have to do the right thing....for everyone's expectation and happiness. But never yours. And then here's another stupid question that sets you thinking....Since it is society's expectations for me to do what is perceived to be the right thing...am I a bad person to have thoughts of doing what I feel instead?

Hmmmm, at the end of the day, I guess I'm asking all these questions is because...maybe I'm trying to find my place in this world. For all my life, I have tried to be the best that I can be. And sometimes I wonder will it be ever enough. I feel as if I am not at that level that I can say I'm proud to be who I am and what I have become. Though, I'm not saying I have this inferiority complex. It is just that I am not that good yet. Maybe let me illustrate it in a different context.

Take an example of relationships. Sometimes in life when I meet a special someone...I tend to think to myself...this is a great gal...and I feel that I'm not good enough for her yet. In a more cliche manner of speaking...I don't deserve a girl like that. There are plenty of other guys that are much more deserving and good. The reason I feel that way, comes back to the same question. What defines a man? Do I deserve that girl cos of my virtues? Achievements? Morale? Financial status? Or simply by just being a nice guy? But all I know is, for the time being, I still feel I'm not good enough for those great gals out there.

Man, I do have alot on my mind huh? But I guess I'll work it out someday. Things always have a funny way of working themselves out. Still, we have to fight our own skeletons in our closets. I hope maybe one day, I can post up an entry that that says....I have found my place...and I have defined myself...

Working? Not today

*yawns* Been sleeping the whole day, but doesn't ever seem enough. From the "exciting" nite I had last night, woke up with the whole body aching and a spiltting headache.

The moment I switched on the TV, it has been nothing but Indian movies and celebrity shows non-stop. Well, I guess it is Deepavalli anyway. Hmmm, how I wish I was at work. Time seems to slows down and its dead boring whenever I have an off day. And especially today is a public holiday, there's gonna be hundreds of people out. Looks like its safer to stay home.

The other day someone asked me, "Are you happy in office?". The first thing that struck me was how she phrased the question. And I think she really nailed it. You see, she could always ask, "Are you happy working?" or "Are you happy at work?" And I guess she did ask the right question after all. And the answer? I am always happy at office, cos I always get to see my colleagues and hangout with people whom I grown so close to. My so-called "Singaporean Family". When I broke off with my ex, I knew that I don't have anyone here in Singapore. But in a small way, this bunch of friends made it bearable. So yeah, I am happy in office...better than being alone at home. But work? YEAH RITE!!!!! I dread the living daylights out of it!!!! Especially when I get calls that lasted for 45 mins!!! Debating, arguing and convincing an ol' uncle that my company isn't cheating his money. SHEESH. Like the same friend mentioned, "If you love your work, you'll never work another single day for the rest of your life." Get it?

But hey hey!! There's a silver lining in every cloud I guess. I received the first 2 pics of the CCCS Dinner!! And here they are folks!! Finally some pics to spicen things up at thins boring blog.

Here's one with me, my managers (the 2 in the middle) and Sean; whom won the award for the Most Commended Customer Service Officer of the year.


And here's another one with one of the coolest managers that you'll ever know. Da Boss man!! And look at that smuck in a suit next to him..Hahaha...I have a loooOoOoOooog way to go.

Ghost of Yesterday...

Roadtrip? Sounds like a fun idea rite? That's if nothing goes wrong...Well, its 3AM and I had one heck of a day. A few days ago, my colleague Carmen wanted to go back to KL for a short holiday. At the spur of the moment, I had this bright idea why not make it a roadtrip!!! I could borrow Dave's car and me, Carmen and Marcel could drive to KL after work and be in KL in 3 hours time. So, today; I manage to swap my shift and rush off to Johor to pick up the car. When we got there, it was almost around 11.30PM. Everything went fine and Dave was revving the engine. Yeeeehaa!! VROoOOOOOOOooom!!! VrOoOOoOoM!! then....*pishhhhhh*. The engine went dead..."What the?!?!?" Everyone froze. Sheesh!! Among all times, the car broke down! Dave immeadiately called for a mechanic, but when the mechanics got here..the car could not be repaired at the time. So, the rest is history....we had to rush Carmen off to the nearest Bus terminal where she got a last minute bus back to KL. And for me and Marcel...well, we had to go back to Singapore...dissapointingly. I kinda felt bad for Carmen for putting her through all the trouble. And for Marcel too...cos I was the one who convinced him to follow me on the roadtrip.

Sigh......

But admist all that have happened, throughout the nite, deep inside my heart I was pre-occupied with something else.....11th November. A date that I can't seem to forget..... Its her birthday. The thoughts of her seem to be flowing back into my mind. I kept on thinking, how is she? What is she doing this year for her birthday? Is she happy? Well, but I guess its realli stupid for me to ask all these questions. If I know her well enough, she is happy. She's a very capable person and she'll get what she wants when she sets her sights at it.

And guess what? Its a public holiday with the Deepavali celabrations. I bet she's having the time of her life. I wonder if she ever thinks of me. Man I feel like shit. Seems like the whole world's celebrating...except for me. There are times, I feel so dissapointed with myself. And when I look at the mirror, I don't like what I see...and all I see is a failure.

Sometimes I wonder when will I be entirely over her. All the past memories we had together are still haunting me...from time to time. Still, there are certain memories that I thought I have already blocked out. But tonight, they came flowing back. I thought I would never ever remember all those painful memories...its like going thru each and everyone of them all over again. Same memories...same pain. Tommorow seems bleak when the ghost of yesterday still haunts you.

What am I supposed to do with all these blues

Haunting me everywhere

No matter what i do

Watching the candle flicker outIn the evening glow

I can't let go, when will that night be over

I didn't mean to fall in love with you

And baby there's a name for what you put me through

It isn't love it's robbery

I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

The ghost of you and me

When will it set me free

I hear the voices call

Following footsteps down the hall

Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul

(Extracted from BBMak's Ghost of You & Me)

Sigh..........

The "Budak Kampung" (Village Kid)

Well, its been a fairly interesting and busy weekend. Things have been so hectic that I didn't have the time to update my blog...and its only my second posting! Arrgghh...

Anyway, on Saturday, I attended the the CCCS (Call Center Council of Singapore) Dinner; and I tell you..I was in awe. For the first time I attended a dinner that is realli "up" there. It was a black tie affair and everyone was in Armani suits, tuxedos, coats and gowns. And for me...I felt like I was a budak kampung (village kid) in a cheap suit. I'm way out of my league. Even the dinner was so-called "fine dining", where I had no idea which fork or spoon I should be using. Still, it was realli a good experience as I was in the company of the industry's finest. My company managed to grab a few coveted awards...including one for my manager who won the "Call Center Manager of the Year". Its suppose to be some kinda prestigous title that he is suppose to represent Singapore in some other Call Center Awards in Chicago next year. Cool huh?

I will be posting up the pics of the dinner pretty soon when my friend sends them to me. Sheesh, its really a drag if you dun have your own digicam. That's why I'm getting my own soon. Wanna get the new Panasonic FX-7 super slim, mega OIS, 5-megapixel, ultra light good looking digicam. Hahaha...thats a mouth full. But man, I'm excited about it.

Moving on to Sunday, well, it was a pretty average Sunday and as usual I was in office. Feeling damn sleepy from the night before. These days I'm having difficulty sleeping. Maybe its from the shift work I have been doing. For the entire week, whenever I come home, I would fall asleep around 9Pm and the wake up at 11PM...and that's it! 2 hours and I can't sleep for the entire night...hmmm...maybe something's bothering me. But just can't firgure out what it is.

These days in office, I have also been noticing everyone's going thru something. From my observation, the colleagues that I'm close to are having their own personal probs. The ironic part is all of their problems are all relationship related. Sigh....seems like all problems are related to relationships huh? Even money isn't that troublesome...it never lets you down when you have it right? Hahahaha.

But I guess the beauty of our "click" is that, when we all get together, we seem to put behind our worries and we really enjoy each other's company. Even when we're whining about each one's relationship problems.... As a foreigner in a different country, sometimes I count my blessings that I found good friends where ever I am.

Oh man! Look at the time! Time for me to go. Sigh, another A3 week for me. (oh, those who's not familiar with what I just said, A3 means I start working at 3PM....and I finish work at 12.30AM. Its a Shift thing... Anyway, I'll be back people...on my way to "Hell" now..

Finally, from thoughts to web domain...

Hey there people!

Well, I guess I finally did it. I was contemplating on setting up my own blog-spot for ages and now I finally did it. Many things were going thru my mind when I'm actually doing this..."will I be able to maintain this this?", "Is this just a spur of the moment?", "do I even have the time for this?" or "I'm just so darn bored that I needed something to do, and here I am."

Anyway, after much deliberating, I felt that there wasn't any deliberating to do at all. Just set up the blog you damn friggin' imbecile!! I guess in many ways, atleast at this blog, I kinda get the chance to let off some stuff that have been weighing on my mind and let it be an avenue where I can gripe and whine all I like!! WooOOoOohOoOOo!! So, you have been warned people!! You're gonna have a sneak peek at the psyche of this sick fella here! And it ain't gonna be pretty!!

Oh yeah, to those that don't know me...maybe a brief introduction should be in order. Generally, I'm just your average guy from Penang and now currently working in the Lion City! Singapore....sigh...man oh man I miss Penang. Anyhoo, I came here roughly around 1 and a half years ago for a job in a telecommunications company right after college (ahem, so sorry can't really reveal that company's name for now....maybe later) So far, as a true blue Penang boy (never imagined one day I would leave my beloved Penang), coming to Singapore and working here right now have been filled with regret and also happiness. Alot have happened for the past year or so and maybe I have grown up alot. And in many ways, I guess thats the most important thing.

Yikes! Enough of the introductions already! Let's get started!!!

Just for for your info guys, I actually just woke up and I'm already getting the feeling that it's gonna be a loOoOoOOoOoOog day. Have so many things to plan out today. And the first order of the day would be to post out a birthday present to a close friend of mine who's workin in UK. Went shopping the other day and found something that I know she'll just freak out (in a good sense) when she sees it. But the problem is that 1. the item is too god damn big, and 2. the bloody Singpost (erm...that's what they call the post office here in Singapore) is so damn far from my place. So I guess I have my work cut out for me. Thank god its my off day today. Oh yeah, and secondly, there's the corporate dinner that I have to attend tonight. Looks like I'll have to dig out the ol' suit.

Anyway, I guess that's it for today....I'll post more stuff up at my blog when I start to get the hang of blogging and get the ball rollin'! And oh yea, for those who wanna e-mail me for some feedback, feel free to do so. Always welcome good and constructive feedback. But till then...rock on.