Ghost of Yesterday...
Roadtrip? Sounds like a fun idea rite? That's if nothing goes wrong...Well, its 3AM and I had one heck of a day. A few days ago, my colleague Carmen wanted to go back to KL for a short holiday. At the spur of the moment, I had this bright idea why not make it a roadtrip!!! I could borrow Dave's car and me, Carmen and Marcel could drive to KL after work and be in KL in 3 hours time. So, today; I manage to swap my shift and rush off to Johor to pick up the car. When we got there, it was almost around 11.30PM. Everything went fine and Dave was revving the engine. Yeeeehaa!! VROoOOOOOOOooom!!! VrOoOOoOoM!! then....*pishhhhhh*. The engine went dead..."What the?!?!?" Everyone froze. Sheesh!! Among all times, the car broke down! Dave immeadiately called for a mechanic, but when the mechanics got here..the car could not be repaired at the time. So, the rest is history....we had to rush Carmen off to the nearest Bus terminal where she got a last minute bus back to KL. And for me and Marcel...well, we had to go back to Singapore...dissapointingly. I kinda felt bad for Carmen for putting her through all the trouble. And for Marcel too...cos I was the one who convinced him to follow me on the roadtrip.
Sigh......
But admist all that have happened, throughout the nite, deep inside my heart I was pre-occupied with something else.....11th November. A date that I can't seem to forget..... Its her birthday. The thoughts of her seem to be flowing back into my mind. I kept on thinking, how is she? What is she doing this year for her birthday? Is she happy? Well, but I guess its realli stupid for me to ask all these questions. If I know her well enough, she is happy. She's a very capable person and she'll get what she wants when she sets her sights at it.
And guess what? Its a public holiday with the Deepavali celabrations. I bet she's having the time of her life. I wonder if she ever thinks of me. Man I feel like shit. Seems like the whole world's celebrating...except for me. There are times, I feel so dissapointed with myself. And when I look at the mirror, I don't like what I see...and all I see is a failure.
Sometimes I wonder when will I be entirely over her. All the past memories we had together are still haunting me...from time to time. Still, there are certain memories that I thought I have already blocked out. But tonight, they came flowing back. I thought I would never ever remember all those painful memories...its like going thru each and everyone of them all over again. Same memories...same pain. Tommorow seems bleak when the ghost of yesterday still haunts you.
No comments:
Post a Comment