The Meaning

Sigh....again, I can't seem to get any sleep.

Something's definately bothering me and I don't know what it is. Its getting frustrating. I really hate the feeling of going to work the next day feeling sleepy and light-headed. I've been trying to slowly dissect my thoughts and narrow-down the cause of all this tiresome weariness....but to no avail.

So I guess, thats why I'm here again. Writing this blog of mine gives me an escape from all the bothersome things around me. Nevertheless, its definately better than tossing and turning on my bed.

So what shall I write tonight? Sometimes its difficult to think of what to write....especially when I'm trying to think of a topic to distract myself from everything else....but one thing I am happy to announce is.......

MY BLOG HAS GENERATED OVER 1000 HITS!!!! WOoOOoOoOoHoOOoooOO!!! Thanks for all the support guys!!!

Sigh....

So I guess, for this special occasion, I'll reveal the answer to the question everyone has always been asking me about my blog.....

What does StealthSunlight mean?

The definition of Stealth - The act of moving, proceeding, or acting in a covert way.
The definition of Sunlight - Basically, just plain sunlight. Clear as day and bright as the sun. Something that surrounds us. Something good and pure.

This title of mine came with a great influence from my ex. You see, when I was with her.....I knew I loved her alot. But the problem was, I knew I had to have my friends as well. And one of those friends happen to be Joanne. She is one of the closest friends I have ever come to know, and she will always remain a true friend to me. She accepts all the good and the bad in me. I cherish our friendship.

Still, at the end of the day, it was just a platonic friendship.......Sadly, my ex never understood that. No doubt that once in a long long time ago, I had a crush on Joanne. But that was all history when I met my ex. I loved her 110% and there was nobody in this world that can replace her.

Ultimately, my ex wanted me to break all ties with Joanne. That.....I feel was just simply asking for too much. I know I love my ex. But asking me to throw away a true friendship was what I felt to be...irrational. Anyway, what can I simply feel for Joanne? She's all the way in UK, and happily attached to another guy....and I was already in love.

I guess maybe....... it was my fault that I didn't make my ex feel secure enough in the relationship. However, whatever the case.....I wasn't about to sacrifice any friendship just to convince my ex that I loved her. Joanne or not...no friendship was worth it.

Hence, this is when I started to.....lie. I told my ex that I have cut all ties with Joanne, but unknown to her, I still kept in touch with Joanne from time to time.

So thats how I felt about the whole thing. StealthSunlight.

A friendship should never be hidden. It is something good and pure that people should cherish. Yet, I have to continue my friendship with my friend secretly in hidden shadows. Not being able to acknowledge the friendship.

So....now you all know.