Dr. Luv
Geez...its been 3 days I have been rotting at home.
And if you'd asked me, I've done nothing productive at all. Still, atleast my eye is getting much much better.
So, what have I been doing at home? Nothing but watching movies and stuffing my face with junk food.
Though, its kinda ironic that I have all this free time and yet, can't seem to find anything to do with it. Quite sometime ago, I have mentioned before that relationships is the furthest thing on my mind.
Well, maybe its the free time and maybe its the loneliness; but its getting to me.
Was talking to a friend earlier on. Seems like he has an interest with this gal and was askin me how to make his next move. So, there I was, trying to give him my "expert" advice.
But then it dawned on me. On a regular basis, I have alot of friends that always comes to me whenever they have BGR problems. And of course, time and again, I would tell them wat to do best...from a neutral party's perspective.
In the end, then only I realise, thats just me. All talk but no action. I can give fantastic advice, but when it comes down to my own love life, I'm such a screw up.
Always saying the wrong things and always fumbling around myself. And you know what? To make matters worse, I was just reflecting on the past the other day. And it seems that all the girls that I was once interested in.....are all now like my best friends!
I mean, its great to see that when people cant make it as lovers, they are able to make it as bestfriends. But seriously....its rubbing salt in the would when these girls come to me telling me their relationship problems when, once a upon a time, I had feelings for them. Ironic, huh?
Anyway, to me its alright. In many ways, I'm happy for that friend of mine. Atleast he has a target. And just the other day, a friend just got attached too. Really happy for them.
Sometimes thats one of the things I consider if ever I were to return to Penang. There, atleast I have a social life. My phone rings non-stop. Here, I don't even need to charge it for 4 to 5 days straight. And not to mention, I have no idea who to call.
Sometimes, when the inferior complex sets in; I do ask myself whats wrong with me. I mean, there has to be something wrong rite? Being single has its perks, but when you are a working-financially stable guy.....who doenst seem to be able to get hitched...then I guess its the personality then. Or maybe I have an attitude problem. Or maybe I don't have the looks. Who knows? Most probably the girls.
Work has been bad too. Was talking to the sluts earlier on. Seems like nothing's going right at work. Talks of retrenchment, pay cuts and procedural changes really worries us. Seems to us that even good and productive CSOs are being targeted these days. And like Ah Ho said it best, "Staff morale has hit rock bottom".
Ultimately, I'm starting to really hate shift work too. For instance, last Friday night a friend told me she was going clubbing and asked me what would I be doing. After thinking a while, I told her that I'm going bowling and will be going home early to sleep cos I will be working at 8am the next morning.
At that time, I didnt think much of it.
But at the bowling alley, my mind started to wander. I told myself; I'm a 25 year old swinging bachelor. And I'm bowling on a Friday night and most probably I'll be going to bed at 10pm cos I have to work the next day. Is this the kinda of life I should be living?
Unfortunately, the word "No" resonates in my mind. In many aspects, I feel I am earning good money for the work. But also, sometimes I feel I'm sacrifing the best parts of my youth. I dont want to look back next time and regret I've not allowed myself to enjoy my life.....and regret not doing the things I want to do. For almost 3 years now, I have been working mostly on weekends and public holidays. And the only free time I have are when I am off on weekdays. So, its really stressful on the social life. And of course, it sounds wierd when you say, "Gee, want to go clubbing on a Monday night?".
Guess nothing's going well. Failure in love and feels like I'm a failure in my career too. Though, atleast I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and food on my plate.
Just wish that atleast my life is moving somewhere. Cos now it seems like I'm stuck in this hole and place, and I don't know how to get out of it.
And if you'd asked me, I've done nothing productive at all. Still, atleast my eye is getting much much better.
So, what have I been doing at home? Nothing but watching movies and stuffing my face with junk food.
Though, its kinda ironic that I have all this free time and yet, can't seem to find anything to do with it. Quite sometime ago, I have mentioned before that relationships is the furthest thing on my mind.
Well, maybe its the free time and maybe its the loneliness; but its getting to me.
Was talking to a friend earlier on. Seems like he has an interest with this gal and was askin me how to make his next move. So, there I was, trying to give him my "expert" advice.
But then it dawned on me. On a regular basis, I have alot of friends that always comes to me whenever they have BGR problems. And of course, time and again, I would tell them wat to do best...from a neutral party's perspective.
In the end, then only I realise, thats just me. All talk but no action. I can give fantastic advice, but when it comes down to my own love life, I'm such a screw up.
Always saying the wrong things and always fumbling around myself. And you know what? To make matters worse, I was just reflecting on the past the other day. And it seems that all the girls that I was once interested in.....are all now like my best friends!
I mean, its great to see that when people cant make it as lovers, they are able to make it as bestfriends. But seriously....its rubbing salt in the would when these girls come to me telling me their relationship problems when, once a upon a time, I had feelings for them. Ironic, huh?
Anyway, to me its alright. In many ways, I'm happy for that friend of mine. Atleast he has a target. And just the other day, a friend just got attached too. Really happy for them.
Sometimes thats one of the things I consider if ever I were to return to Penang. There, atleast I have a social life. My phone rings non-stop. Here, I don't even need to charge it for 4 to 5 days straight. And not to mention, I have no idea who to call.
Sometimes, when the inferior complex sets in; I do ask myself whats wrong with me. I mean, there has to be something wrong rite? Being single has its perks, but when you are a working-financially stable guy.....who doenst seem to be able to get hitched...then I guess its the personality then. Or maybe I have an attitude problem. Or maybe I don't have the looks. Who knows? Most probably the girls.
Work has been bad too. Was talking to the sluts earlier on. Seems like nothing's going right at work. Talks of retrenchment, pay cuts and procedural changes really worries us. Seems to us that even good and productive CSOs are being targeted these days. And like Ah Ho said it best, "Staff morale has hit rock bottom".
Ultimately, I'm starting to really hate shift work too. For instance, last Friday night a friend told me she was going clubbing and asked me what would I be doing. After thinking a while, I told her that I'm going bowling and will be going home early to sleep cos I will be working at 8am the next morning.
At that time, I didnt think much of it.
But at the bowling alley, my mind started to wander. I told myself; I'm a 25 year old swinging bachelor. And I'm bowling on a Friday night and most probably I'll be going to bed at 10pm cos I have to work the next day. Is this the kinda of life I should be living?
Unfortunately, the word "No" resonates in my mind. In many aspects, I feel I am earning good money for the work. But also, sometimes I feel I'm sacrifing the best parts of my youth. I dont want to look back next time and regret I've not allowed myself to enjoy my life.....and regret not doing the things I want to do. For almost 3 years now, I have been working mostly on weekends and public holidays. And the only free time I have are when I am off on weekdays. So, its really stressful on the social life. And of course, it sounds wierd when you say, "Gee, want to go clubbing on a Monday night?".
Guess nothing's going well. Failure in love and feels like I'm a failure in my career too. Though, atleast I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and food on my plate.
Just wish that atleast my life is moving somewhere. Cos now it seems like I'm stuck in this hole and place, and I don't know how to get out of it.
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