Loser-ish

I'm all dressed up and I have nowhere to go. No, its not becasue of the fact that its been raining the whole day.

If I didn't know it better, I think I'm in the run for the Biggest Loser of the Century.

You see, my mind has a seriously wicked and, some will call it...flawed thought process.

Ok, here's how it goes.

In a short time span of 1 week, I have been stood up 3 times. Yeah, I hate the sound of it. Everytime I reflect back on it, it really makes me look like a friggin loser.

I have been contemplating whether I should write about these pathetic sounding entries in my blog, but seems like I just cant seem to help it. I need somewhere to vent it.

Though, I read somewhere before that chicks dig confidence, and if I write sad and "loser-ish" entries like this; then its all down the drain for me. But still, to heck with it, I dont blog to get laid anyway.

So, whats all the big fuss today? Well, thurout this week I was pretty excited about a few things. For starters, I had a few appointments. Do take note though, all just friendly outings of course. Nothing romantically-linked about it.

Then, one by one, I started to receive calls and sms-es that they can't make it.....In my heart....."Yup, no prob. No biggie".

However, the real kicker of the week? The worst one? I was at the venue of the appointment, and I waited for 1 hour, during of which I tried calling that person tirelessly. After that, I just decided to go home, only to receive a call from her, "Hey, so sorry about it......I went out last night and I just woke up. Will meet up with you next time yar?".

Okaaaaay. Now, it might just be sheer co-incidence that maybe all this things happen at the same time. And as for the last case, I can always be my ol' merry gentlemanly-self and take it with a pinch of salt.

But honestly, how do you expect me to feel? Though...i responded with a smile on my face. Can't be angry with your friends right?

Also, the other day somebody was office mentioned, "Y'know.....you should get out more. Go on dates. Make some casual banter, flirt around". - Okay, okay......Smile.

Sigh, I don't wanna sound bad.....but this was coming from a person who has invited me out for a movie with 3 other couples.

Yup...that will be one for the picture album. Another title....Biggest Lamp Post of the Century. Smile, smile, smile.

In my mind, I was like....who on earth am I suppose to flirt with??? Everyone I know are attached and lets not forget that most of the people I know are my colleagues. And why do people ALWAYS think that I'm not trying??!!?

Don't I know what to do? Why can't people just UNDERSTAND where am I right now? Sure, if its possible, I'll just head on to nightclubs and pubs and hit on any chick I see. Since my I don't have any confidence left, I have nothing to lose right?

Those of you who know me.....knows I'm just not that tyoe of guy.

You see, I used to call up friends to go for coffee or stuff like tat. But over time, the rejection is really running on its toll. I can understand that people would want to spend their off days with their loved ones or with their family. And I do agree.....I'm all for that.

However, here's where the flawed and twisted thought process comes in. Everytime when a friend tells me they can't make it....I feel really bad. I feel bad cos I felt that I have interrupted their lives and I know my friends are good people. Many of the times, I know they find it difficult to say "no" to me. And later on, they will try to make up for it by trying to invite me out instead.....which ultimately is another inconvenience to them.

At the end of it all.....I feel like shit. That's why, I give up. To save everyone the trouble, I'll just stay at home from now on. My confidence has been shot to hell anyway. I don't even know how to talk to people anymore.

Seems like I'm destined to be your friendly neighborhood CSO. Saving the world from moronic people, taking them on one at a time. With great powers comes with great responsibility! And with great ability to "smoke" idiots on the phone......bring it on.

Well, since now I'm so free anyway.....maybe I'll work on my SuperCSO costume. =)