Night of Pure Magic

Simply magical.

Last night I attended Cirque Du Soleil's performance of Quidam. And all I can say is......sheer brilliance and spectacular.

For those of you that are not familiar with Quidam; it is basically a circus performance by a troupe from France called Cirque Du Soleil. Initially, I was really skeptical about the whole event and moreover it was the event that is replacing my company's D&D night. I have always loved D&Ds (but of course, i wasn't complaining about the free tix that was given to us. it actually cost $120 for the seats we got!). Still, the more I heard about Quidam, the more intrigue I was about it. Hence, I started to read up abit on Quidam and found out that it is of the most revered circus performance in the world! Circue Du Soleil is renowned for its other 2 performances called Allegria and Saltibanco.

And boy was the critics right! Quidam was absolutely awe inspiring and I couldnt believe my eyes when I was there.

Their performances were so nerve racking that audiences are left edging from their seats and were all speechless. People were clapping their hands non-stop and cheering on and on for a good 3 to 5 minutes when the show ended. And Quidam definately deserve the standing ovation at the end of it.

I will definately not forget Quidam for a long long time. Its just so difficult to describe the feeling of exhilaration when the stunts and acts were performed on stage.


Later on that evening, a few of my colleagues and I loitered around to take a few pics of the circus masks that were on sale there. And its really no joke.....the cheapest mask that were on sale were about $35 to $680!!!

The Unexpected Long Break and a surreal dream

Guess what? I have not been working for the past 5 days!!!!

Last Friday and Saturday were my off and rest days; and then I fell sick and took MC on Sunday and Monday. But little did I know, when I called my friend to check what time is my shift today....it turns out to be my off day today!!!

Hmmmm,.....I hope the people in office don't think I did it on purpose. Cos' these days its pretty dangerous to take MCs cos you would be accused of falsifying your sickness to extend your off days.

Sigh, but c'mon. I have no reason to take such a long break. Not as if I had anywhere to go and especially when I have so many pending projects at work. Oh well......I guess I just have to leave it at that.

Though, what I would really like to blog about today is a dream I had last night. I really can't remember the last time I had such a surreal dream which feels so realistic and a dream that affected me on an emotional level.

So....let me tell you all about this dream I had.

I dreamt that I was actually still sleeping. At home. And as I was really really tired and sleepy I could feel the morning sun shining on my face and I just refused to wake up. Then suddenly, I heard someone calling my name. And it was a girl's voice.

She kept on calling my name and pestering me to wake up. After that, as I was lying on left side of my body - ala foetus position, this girl's hand then came from behind and hugged me.

She was lying behind me hugging me and still pestering me to wake up. I was like....??????? Who on earth???

As I turned over, I remember I could recognise her as my girlfriend, but I could not really make out her face. And then I just said, "Huh? hey.....how did you get in???"

"How else?? Your dad let me in, silly", she said. Then I replied, "Oh....what time issit? I have to get to work".

Then she proceeded to tell me its getting late. I then got up and she told me she'll surf the Net while I get ready. Then both of us can go and get lunch before she sends me to work.

Shortly after that.......I woke up from my dream.

The dream really had an impact on me. I don't know why am I having such dreams....maybe I've been longing for a girlfriend, or maybe I'm getting desperate....or maybe its the stupid love movies I've been watchin g lately.

But one thing's for sure....in the dream, I felt loved. I felt as if someone really cared for me. Its a good feeling that I have not felt for a long time. And my guess is....most probably I won't be feeling this for some time; unless I have the same dream again. Though, I was smiling from cheek to cheek when I woke up.

Still, I could not make out or remember how the girl in my dream looked like. All I can remember that...she was beautiful. And she was wearing a white spagetti top, jeans and she has this really nice hair band that she was wearing around her wrist. Kinda specific huh? But that's all I could remember....... And of course, I could remember her warmth.....

Sigh.....I wonder when will I ever meet this girl in my dreams.

For now....dream on...dream on....

The Weekend...

It has been a good weekend.

No doubt that my body is now aching from head to toe; and I even have to report for MC; it has been a good weekend.

Some you of you might understand, most of you won't. But throughout this weekend, I have grown to understand myself on so many levels that you can never imagine.

Don't get me wrong, it has not all been a pleasant experience. But atleast at the end of it, things turn out of the better.

After all this, I am more aware of my actions and self-being. Things now are more clear than it ever was. Thanks to a friend, I never knew the consequences of my actions and what kind of a person I truly am. No doubt I have my flaws, nobody's perfect. Nobody's invulnerable. But yet, in some ways now atleast I am aware I do have certain flaws that I didn't knew existed.

Anyway, all this might sound confusing. Though, what I have personally went through this past weekend is something that I wish to keep to myself.

Talk about good timing

2 nights ago, my SIM card died on me. Not that I mind, but its a big hassle to go down to my company's customer service to get it fixed. Anyways, I don't receive much calls or SMSes.

Thankfully, I had a back up line where I manage to divert all my calls to that number. Still, I was kinda perplexed as why it stopped fucntioning. And I was suppose to be one of the many people in Singapore who knew these stuff. It was my job to know about SIM cards, GPRS, handphone features, bla bla bla.

It took me a whole night trying to figure out the possibilities (its a side effect of the job - thinking about possibilities and alternatives). But in the end, I resigned to fate and thought that either the SIM just died on me or there was a network error.

The next day, which co-incidentally happen to be my off day (%$#$@!!!! wasting my off day doin these stuff), I made a trip down to the customer service center to check if there was anything wrong with the SIM.

So.......

Before I left my house, I did a test to see if it was still not working. On my way there, I tested it again. Still not working. And when I finally got there, I took a queue number and sat down....and I tested it again; still not working.

THEN SUDDENLY........when my number was called up.....I tested my phone....and the friggin thing worked!!!!!!! &^%$#!!@#@!!!!

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

So, out of politeness....since I'm already there...I went over to the counter and told the gal the problem. And as any other CSO would do, she checked my line and everything was fine. Within seconds, I knew the words that were coming from her mouth were standard scripts. "Sir, your line seems to be fine. But if there were any service disruptions, it may be due to the.........". Right........

I could read it out back at her if I wanted to.

Oh well, sometimes thats why I said....life is ironic. Things may happen for a reason I guess. Cos actually on my way to Orchard, I spotted something I wanted to buy for a long time, but just couldn't find it. And so happen that I was forced to go down to Orchard yesterday and saw it there. Funny how things works out huh?

But seriously, at that moment in time when my phone started working, I was like.......huh???? Among all places and among all times.....when I just wanted to show the officer that my SIM card died on me...it ressurected itself. Sheesh.

Anyway, today is my rest day as well. I have back to back off days. To some of you, it might be something normal to have. But working in a call center, back to back off days is a luxury. But still.....I have been complaining awfully alot lately about not having off days on weekends....but now that I have it....I have nowhere to go or anyone to go out with. Sigh......

And the worse part? I thought that our pay cheque should be in by last night!!! ARRRGGG!!! So irritating! The only weekend that I have off......and its the weekend that I'm broke!!!!!

again........TALK ABOUT GOOD TIMING!!!!

Mid Autumm Festival?

Took a short stroll around my home today. It's been a while since I've gone out and just strolled around and see the hustle and bustle of the weekend crowd.

And as I got out, I start to notice that the Mid-Autumm festivities are at full swing; and its a full moon out tonight.

People are buying mooncakes, children are running around in lanterns, tourist taking snap shots at the locals...god knows why. And all this was happening at my very own doorstep. Good ol' Chinatown.

Deep down, I couldn't but feel a little bit nostalgic and....home sick. Its been almost coming to 3 years, and I thought that I was already over this.

No doubt that I like working in overseas, but it has its price. The public holidays and festivals are really a down time for me. I'd miss my friends and family back home. Even during this year's Mid-Autumm festival I find myself thinking should I? or shouldn't I celebrate the festival? Even the idea of buying a mooncake and eating it at home alone makes me feel kinda pathetic.

Everyone around me is having a blast.....celebrating with their families, boyfriends, girlfriends. And as for me?

I have to......work.

That's right. You heard it. I have to friggin work on the very day of a chinese festival. Sometimes I truly wonder, for the time I invested in my work.....would it be too big a price to pay. Missing out on what is more important in life. Being with your loved ones.

Anyway, it is something that I chose. And everything happens for a reason.

Now, time to brace myself for Christmas and the New Year.

Warning: Fanatic on the loose. Read at own risk

FUAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!

okie. let me say that again.

FUAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!

*ahem* let me catch my breath and pick up my jaw.

Last night, I managed to get my paws on a copy of the heavily anticipated Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (AC) CGI movie.

It was only released in Japan on the 14th Sept and I was lucky enough to have seen it last night. And for all those years that AC fanboys have been waiting for???

It was worth every single nano-second baby!!!!!!!!!! The movie is simply fantastic from minute 1 till the end. The action scenes were out of this world!! It was insane!!! To put it in better terms....it was....

AWESOME.

As I watched it last night, I really couldn't believe my eyes. And when I woke up today, it still feels like a dream!

I might sound like a young boy who've just watched some Disney cartoon for the first time. But for any anime fan out there, this is a definate must watch!

Oh.....just for the uninitiated, AC is basically a sequel to a crazily popular game Final Fantasy VII (if you haven't heard of FF, you have been living under a rock. If that's the case, go shoot yourself. In the head. Twice). Sounds weird right? A sequel? To a game? Well, I don't even care if its the prologue to a getai, but if the producers can make the film this good, I'm game for it.

Anyway, the story revolves around an anti-hero by the name of Cloud Strife. Basically, its about this dude going around saving lifes and bla bla bla.....hey, if the CG is this beautiful, who cares about the story line? I was clapping my hands and giving it a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Errr.....hehe....sounds stupid right? Giving a standing ovation in the middle of the night in my room? Hmmmmmm......

All I can say is....to all my anime freaks out there.....go watch AC now!!!! I'd give this movie.......10 THUMBS way way way UP!!!!!!!

Voluntary Solitude

I must admit in recent days, my mood has kinda been rotten and low.

And things has been so infuriating, I find myself flaring up at the slightest unwelcomed event and I simply have no patience for anything.

I really can't explain why all I am feeling this way all of a sudden, but what I do know is that when I am feeling like this.....all I want is to be left alone.

I also find myself angry at so many things. Things which doesn't even involve me. I get cranky when I go to work, I get annoyed easily and I guess in many ways, the only time I find peace is when I'm all by myself or when I'm at home.

And...thats a good thing.

One bad habit about me, is that when I am in a bad mood; I try to calm myself down and try not to let my feelings affect me too much. But when I do that, I get very absent minded and sometimes I don't think too much of what I say to people. And hence, sometimes I offend people unintentionally.

Unknowingly, I just say things on the top of my head without thinking twice. I get so involved with myself that I don't even try to be polite at times and mught appear rude.

Sigh.....so I guess......when I'm feeling low and down; all I want to be is alone.

Time for some solidary confinement.

Ironic

God really have a really good sense of humour.

My life has been filled with ups, downs and in betweens that its getting a little bit too ironic.

What I have learned throughout the years is never to take anything for granted and nothing is absolute. Things can change in a matter of nano-seconds and what is white can be turned black and vice versa.

Greek tragedy?

I wish its as simple as that. At this point in my life, I feel that I have come to a crossroad that will very much determine what kind of a person I truly am.

To many of you out there, this might seem confusing or even down right screwed up. But then again, thats just it. I AM SCREWED UP.....and I'm confused. Inside and out. Through and through.

Oh well, but like I always tell myself, everything happens for a reason. There might be a great scheme or plan for me....in the future. Or simply, this might just be a test of life. But, right now....I just don't see it yet.

All I have to say is...this life is ironic.

Post Sleeping Headache *ouch*!!

SLEEP.

Thats the operative word for today. I've been doing nothing but sleep today. Though, I think the whole day of sleeping is giving me a splitting headache now. Sheesh......its times like these how I wish I have a girlfriend to take care of me.

Anyway, if you're talking about the 7 sins, I have already commited 2 of them today. Sloth and gluttony. I've been doing nothing but eating and sleeping today.

And....*burps*, boy did I had a meal today.

Woke up around 1PM today, and suddenly had an urge to have myself some cheeeeeee-ken! So, that was it, had myself KFC (finger lickin' good!!!) for lunch and slept the day through.

I've been so tired lately that whenever its my off day, I just don't want to do anything else. Not to mention that I'm already late for the article I'm suppose to submit for the company news letter. I guess, I really had it with the newsletter already.

First and foremost, it was them who approached me to write for the newsletter. But ever since them, I had nothing but criticisms thrown at me for the way I write. And what's worse, is that all my articles are cannibalized so it can be politically correct to those bereaucratic morons in higher management. From what is mine, became something totally foreign to me.

Still, I think I'll dish out another 2 to 3 articles for the next few months, after that I'm callin it quits.

Oh ya, other than sleeping and eating, I found some time to cut my hair too. Heheheheh......I kinda like the new cut. Definately much neater than before. But knowing guys, our hair grow like wild weed. Before I know it, I'll be making another trip to the hair stylist.

And as for last night, I finally manage to have dinner at Chomp Chomp! I've been in Singapore for 2 years now, and it was my first time there. Have to admit, the food there is quite good actually. Just too bad the place is quite inaccessible. However, the highlight of the night was actually getting to meet up with Rena, Siew Chi and Marcel.

Its been really a long time since we have met up, now that Rena and Siew Chi are working in different companies. It was really great to see them again. Had always enjoyed thier company and they have really been a fantastic bunch of friends to me since I came to Singapore.

Rationalising

I have been thinking alot about certain things lately. And do you know what I feel is the greatest mistake anyone can commit?

Its when they lie to themselves.

You can lie to your friends. You can lie to your family. You can lie to the bus driver. But never lie to yourself. That's the first thing a person should never do. Its best to be honest to your own true feelings. But once you lie to yourself....how can you ever know what you truly want. Its just plain denial if you say one thing and do another thing.

I have read before in an article that when people start lying to themselves, its because they are retionalising. According to a study, people tend to rationalise their actions. People tend to always find reasons and justification on what they have done and what they have said. And people tend to do this so much that they enjoy it. And the study did further mentioned that people enjoy rationalising so much that they enjoy it more than sex (yeah, yeah. I had the same reaction when I first read it. Hmmmm....imagine that......).

It kinda true, isn't? Everyday of our lives we always try to find reasons and justification on the things we do......even if it means lying to ourselves. When this happens, rather and being faced with the truth, we give ridiculous reasons to justify our actions.

As long as there's a reason, then you can do it.

Hence, back to the main topic. Never lie to yourself. Its a truly unforgivable act. If you can lie to your family and friends; and one fine day when the truth is out, maybe.....you can repent. But if ever a person lie's to her/himself.; then I guess there isn't much hope left.

We have to open our eyes and accept the real situation, be it good or bad. Justify our actions; Justify our thoughts. Justify them honestly.

Help Yourself

Man, oh man. What a week! You'll have a rough idea that its time to update your blog when an Ah Lian starts to complain that there hasn't been any updates!

Anyway, it HAS been a rough week. Been working 5 days straight (in a call center, that's asking alot!) and things has been so much of a rush....I've haven't looked back since.

Things at work has been....interesting. For starters; about a few days ago, there was a position opening in another newly established hotline - tech support hotline. Initially, I thought that it was my way out from the hell hole that I have been stuck in for the past 2 years.

As I was on the verge of submitting my transfer form....then I start to analyse what I have achieve and how far have I come to, in my current hotline. In retrospect, things have already changed alot. My managers trust me enough and gives me opportunities to take part in projects and nominates me for awards. Further, work hasn't been monotonous ever since I was selected to join the Buddy System (a small unit of the hotline that manages and train new recruits).

So, after much deliberating, I thought to myself......even so that both hotlines might be a dead end for me, but why not make it interesting. If ever I were to switch to the other hotline, I'll be back to square one and stare at PC's monitor blankly and wait for calls. And......anyway, my mum have already went to the temple and seek for divine advice. And the heavens have asked me to stay.

Still, stress levels are actually increasing these days with the Buddy System. Recently we had 3 new additions to the hotline - rookies. They were fresh out of the training center and it was part of my job to familiarise them to the inner workings of the call center.

Sigh......they have a long long long way to go. Their product knowledge is simply astounding. They know.....practically nothing!!!!!

I thought to myself, "How on earth did they pass training?!?!". Even basic procedures and information were all wrong. And one of them is seriously testing my patience. There was once I asked her, "So, do you have any questions?" She replied, "Nope". Then I pop-quized her on a related subject. And she looked at me with a HUGE question mark on her forehead and told me effortlessly......."I don't know".

What the?!?!?! She didn't even attempt to answer my question at all. I told her, "If you don't know, then why did you not ask in the first place when I ask if you had any questions???".

I really hate it when people have this helpless look on their faces. It annoys me to the max. Things are never helpless! Its up to you whether you want to help yourself or not. Its that blind emotionless stare that these people give. Its just damn.....infuriating. And the worse ones are the ones that manages to squeeze in an idiotic smile when they are staring at you blindly.

What the f*** are you smiling about?!?!?!!? Act cute ah!?!?!

Sigh......Oh well, I guess its my job in the Buddy System to be patient with these people.

Just have to take a deep breath and..........*exhale*