Sex, Lies & Murder

Lately, suddenly I have seen an upsurge of comment postings in my blog. And I have noticed something which actually I am surprised to see.

Typically in blog entries, I have always felt there are 2 types "articles" to be written. Like I've said in my previous posts, 1 has been the "daily report", where the blogger just basically update this online journal and tells about what he has done for that particular day or week.

Second, then there's the light hearted articles on his/her comments or opinions of what goes on around the world. Hence, personally I would feel these articles are of jest and a little bit more interesting to read. A few to name that I have written would be, the Miss Universe post, the Tricks of the Trade post and the Reality Bites post.

Now, one thing I have realised about writing 2 different types of postings are....they generate very different reactions. People are generally more interested in the juicy stuff. Controversies, scandals, sex, lies and murder.

When these topics are ever mentioned; not only in blogs but everywhere else......everyone starts to pay attention. Even more when it starts to involve my private life. Scandalous huh? So the end result is....I normally see more comment postings in articles that normally involves these topics...and less comments when I just talk about what I have been up to and what I have been doing. Ultimately, everyone has very different opinions about different things.

Regardless, it has really been interesting so far. I guess thats one of the good things about having a blog. Initially, I started this blog to keep as an online diary. Something that I can look back from time to time and see how I have grown over the years (thats if blogger.com is still in operation). And then, when I really got down to it.....I find that people have comments on certain things I mention or what I do with my life.

Still, its always good to know what people think regardless if the feedback is constructive or not. I guess, in time, I start to understand more on how people think....and at the same time understand myself better.

Misinterpretation? Clarified

Gosh......

Looks like the last post was really something. Received 4 comment postings....and thats alot by my standards. Still, I do enjoy reading feedbacks and also other people's comments; despite being good or bad.

However, I do feel the need to clarify something.

I just want to say.....I am over my ex.

Its been a while now since I have talked about my ex...and I can't really remember the last post that I've brought her up. The only reason I mentioned her in the previous entry; is because I wanted to explain the process of how I thought of the name for my blog.

Regardless, of how I feel about it now or how I felt for her previously, it was HOW I came about the name; StealthSunlight. I brought her up just to purely illustrate and re-inforce my point because that was how I actually came up with the name. Simply cos it was the truth.

In retrospect, my sleepless nights recently has nothing to do with my ex.

Guys and Gals and all those in between......please be clear on this; as people have been missing the entire point of my previous entry. I AM OVER MY EX. BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT. PERIOD.

Now....if I am really still thinking/missing of her? I'll shoot myself in the head. Twice. I promise.

The Meaning

Sigh....again, I can't seem to get any sleep.

Something's definately bothering me and I don't know what it is. Its getting frustrating. I really hate the feeling of going to work the next day feeling sleepy and light-headed. I've been trying to slowly dissect my thoughts and narrow-down the cause of all this tiresome weariness....but to no avail.

So I guess, thats why I'm here again. Writing this blog of mine gives me an escape from all the bothersome things around me. Nevertheless, its definately better than tossing and turning on my bed.

So what shall I write tonight? Sometimes its difficult to think of what to write....especially when I'm trying to think of a topic to distract myself from everything else....but one thing I am happy to announce is.......

MY BLOG HAS GENERATED OVER 1000 HITS!!!! WOoOOoOoOoHoOOoooOO!!! Thanks for all the support guys!!!

Sigh....

So I guess, for this special occasion, I'll reveal the answer to the question everyone has always been asking me about my blog.....

What does StealthSunlight mean?

The definition of Stealth - The act of moving, proceeding, or acting in a covert way.
The definition of Sunlight - Basically, just plain sunlight. Clear as day and bright as the sun. Something that surrounds us. Something good and pure.

This title of mine came with a great influence from my ex. You see, when I was with her.....I knew I loved her alot. But the problem was, I knew I had to have my friends as well. And one of those friends happen to be Joanne. She is one of the closest friends I have ever come to know, and she will always remain a true friend to me. She accepts all the good and the bad in me. I cherish our friendship.

Still, at the end of the day, it was just a platonic friendship.......Sadly, my ex never understood that. No doubt that once in a long long time ago, I had a crush on Joanne. But that was all history when I met my ex. I loved her 110% and there was nobody in this world that can replace her.

Ultimately, my ex wanted me to break all ties with Joanne. That.....I feel was just simply asking for too much. I know I love my ex. But asking me to throw away a true friendship was what I felt to be...irrational. Anyway, what can I simply feel for Joanne? She's all the way in UK, and happily attached to another guy....and I was already in love.

I guess maybe....... it was my fault that I didn't make my ex feel secure enough in the relationship. However, whatever the case.....I wasn't about to sacrifice any friendship just to convince my ex that I loved her. Joanne or not...no friendship was worth it.

Hence, this is when I started to.....lie. I told my ex that I have cut all ties with Joanne, but unknown to her, I still kept in touch with Joanne from time to time.

So thats how I felt about the whole thing. StealthSunlight.

A friendship should never be hidden. It is something good and pure that people should cherish. Yet, I have to continue my friendship with my friend secretly in hidden shadows. Not being able to acknowledge the friendship.

So....now you all know.

C.S.M.P.G

Its one of those nights again.

Can't seem to get any sleep at all. From what I can think of, its either I have been sleeping too much lately, or something's bothering me. And I have no idea what it is.

Its 4.15am now. And I'm wide awake. I have a good feeling that I'll be a walking zombie at work later.

Can't seem to put my mind at ease at all. My thoughts races through my mind at every second. Thoughts of going back to Penang. Thoughts of seeing my friends again. Thoughts of my parents.

Maybe all this was triggered by the news of my friend's passing. I miss the good old days back in Penang. Life was so carefree and all we had was the company of good friends. There were never worries about money, love or career. We were just genuinely happy.

My friends and I would really spend entire days and nights just chatting and talking crap. And the best is....everyone of those talk cock sessions are memorable ones.

We use to have a mantra. C.S.M.P.G. You know what that stands for? Everyone of us from Khans would know.

C.S - Counter Strike (a cybercafe game that we would spend 3 to 4 hours playing everynight)
M - Makan
P - Pondan (me and my friends used to drive by transvestites hang outs and shout at them)
G - Gurney Drive

Hence, it was set forth that everynight we went out, our iteninary would be C.S.M.P.G. We never failed to miss one item. Every outing would consist of these 4 activities before it was known as a complete outing. Normally, we would all meet up at a friend's place....then parked all our cars there. Then later, we moved out in convoys of 2 to 3 cars; all of us packed in our cars making jokes, laughing and talking cock most of the time.

I really love the times where we really had nowhere to go. But just drive around till around 4am mooning the Penang night life.

Yeah...we had FUN. We had ALOT OF FUN. I remembered there was once....we were driving by this particular group of transvestites. My friends wound down the car window, and shouted another friend's name and handphone number, and then started shouting, "Call Me!! Call Me!!!" And also....there was this time when we drove by and stopped for a while. This time it wasn't transvestites, but they were prostitutes. As we were all gawking at them.....suddenly we had the shock of our lives! We saw a friend we knew riding his bike out of the prostitute alley!!!!

It was damn hilarious. From then on, this friend of ours have always been the victim of our jokes and teasing. According to him, he claims he was there for another drive by as well. And we went......yeaaaaaaaaah....riiiiiiiiight...

Man........ I miss those days.

3 Days

Its been 3 days.

I have been resting at home for 3 days.

Unexpectedly, due to my MC and also a swap shift from another colleague, I am off for 3 whole days. And what have I been doing?

Absolutely nothing. And I love it.

Its been really a while since I had so much rest and all I did throughout the afternoons is just simply sleeping. Still, the nights were.....interesting.

Last night, I went out with a few colleagues to a place called Settlers. It was a real unique place with a touch of perculiarity to it. It was generally a restaurant cum boardgames hang-out. The place were filled with all sorts of imported boardgames. And you can play them while you have your dinner. From what I've counted, there were atleast 30 to 40 types of boardgames. This place is a real haven for boardgames enthusiats.

All in all, we were there from 8pm to 11.30pm. It was kinda fun. We played a game called Picnic something...and another called Citadel....and the last was called Geusstures - basically, it was Charades with a twist.

And for today, actually I just came back from a bowling session with the usual gang. The big boss, Sean, Marcel, Shu Lynn, Deborah and a few others. I must admit I bowled very badly tonight. Was really dissapointed with myself; as I couldn't concentrate at all. I guess...it was because minutes before we started bowling, I got news that a friend from Secondary school passed away.

This is the second death this year. A friend mentioned....it seems like the only time we ever had a reunion was when we're attending a friend's funeral.

Sigh........friendship and brotherhood binds us. We grow up together. We know each other.

Long Live Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Hamid Khan.....Class of '97.

M.C

Well, I guess as much...that I've been so busy lately that the only time when I am able to update my blog is when I fall sick and report for M.C. So here I am....

Its been really hectic lately. Hectic to the extent that I don't have much time for myself these days. Rather than updating my blog, I spend alot of time writing articles for the company newsletter. Initially it only began with 1 article. Thats what I thought. Now, I'm suppose to submit 3 articles every month, and at the same time, design the web layout for the newsletters. And with the morons at work scheduling me to work the 11.30pm shifts, I'm going out of my mind. Its been almost 3 weeks now, that I have been working this stupid shift.

Still, things aren't so bad. I have been busy for good reasons I guess. I've been going out quite a bit these days. If I knew myself better.....I think I'm starting to have a life here in Singapore. I used to think that my life in Singapore revolves around work and nothing else.

So what have I been up to? Well....lets start with the recent wedding's I have attended. First, there was Justin and Jasmine's wedding. And then there was Philip and Wendy's wedding.

It was really a shame that I didn't manage to take some photos with the brides and bridegrooms. However, atleast during the wedding dinners, I manage to meet up with ex-colleagues. Here's one with me and Rena.

Here's Me, Sean, Ah Ho, Angela and Chun.

Moving on, I recently had a small reunion with the closest people that I've come to known in Singapore. It was a Sunday morning and everyone manage to wake up for Dim Sum breakfast! We went to a really cosy, nice and faux pas looking restaurant close my my place, called Da Dong. The food was really good and I guess the best part about the place was the ambience.

It was really nice to see them again. Rena, Marcel and Siew Chi...who have just came back from Hong Kong recently. She was there for almost 3 months.

And here we are.....feeling fresh and having breakfast on a Sunday morning. We were there from 10am till 12.30pm. It was really nice to see all of them again.

And finally, last Saturday I took part in my company's Amazing Race!!! Hahaha... I must admit. At first, I was really reluctant to join the Race. And I knew I was in no condition to run continuously for 3 hours. Just imagine, we ran from Marina Square to Suntec City's Sky Garden, to Suntec City's Wealth fountain, up and down and around Carrefour. Sheesh!

And then from Suntec, we ran further to the Esplanade and finally ending the race at BoatQuay. It was realli tedious and straineous for me. Still, it was a whole lot of fun! The team I was in was really spectacular. Each member's strenght complimented the team and it also covered up for each other's weaknesses. We manage to solve puzzles and completed many of the games and task efficiently. With a team like that? It was no doubt we won the race!!! It was really satisfying and it was worth all the pain, sweat and work. Sigh.....sweet victory!

Ultimately, with all the running around, the next day all my muscles were aching and my leg was cramped up pretty badly. I couldn't walk properly and was limping most of the time. Ignorant, I still went to work. Bad idea. My calf muscles of my leg were aching most of the time and I was stuck to my chair at work.

So here I am now.....the only time I could update my blog is when I report for M.C. Then again, I guess it can only mean one thing.

I have a life.

Happiness Denied

Okay......its been quite a while since I updated my blog. And to be honest, I'm in a foul mood.

So many things have happened during the past few days.

..............................

Have anyone been denied something that they can't have? Have anyone been denied of the happiness that they have been seeking so tirelessly?

I can tell you from a personal perspective. Its hell.

Sigh....

I really don't know how to express myself. And I don't know what to say. Very simply.....I am just SAD.

Relationships are all f*cked up. Thats all I can say. When I manage to survive the torment and scars from my ex, I built a wall around my world and hope not be to hurt again. At one point, I was safe again.

But then thats the most screwed up thing about life. I was happy again, when suddenly I start to fall again for another person. But I know seriously in my heart that I am going to end up nowhere again. And I'm fine with picking up and moving on....since nothing happened anyway. But its the god-damn feeling of being vulnerable again. I just hate it.

Just the thought about being in a relationship really makes me feel insecure and all that crap.

Sigh....f*ck it...thats all for this post.

Frontline

Frontline - A term most commonly used for military campaigns. A term used for the best of the best military men to lead the army into battle. The survival of the frontline men will depend on their skill and......the tactical support of their generals.

Where I am working? No such thing.

Its been tough these days; and the management at my work place isn't helping either.

As a frontline stuff, we deal with customers everyday and sometimes we rely on the support and understanding of the management. However, recently things turned for the worse. Now, there isn't any glamour or exclusivity being on the frontline. Now....we're bottom feeders. Bottom of the food chain. We have to answer to customers, and we have to answer to management.

If this was compared to any 1940s military campaign......we're dead underwater. First off, being in the frontline is already something not many can do. However, with the "expert" tactical strategy given by our "generals".....its like sending us to the enemy's stronghold armed only with....water-pistols.

Then there's worse. Even if we were given the sufficient weapons to fight the enemy, the "generals" make another "expert" decision.....and then its like going to war with a gun....without bullets. Sigh......its nothing but a slaughter day after day after day.

AND......there ARE worse things. With the enemy in front....and the "generals" behind...you would think you are stuck in a bad place. Think again. There's the food in the cafeteria.

The nonsense that they serve everyday just makes you want to puke. Its like in the battlefield, when you are fighthing the enemy head-on....the generals behind you are hurling grenades at you! Its like they're bloody aiming for your heads!!!!

All I can say is this.....in a situation like that. If ever I have any bullets in my gun. I'll either turn around and shoot the bloody generals....or.......I'll shoot MYSELF in the head. TWICE.

Sigh......

Men, friendly fire on.

Miss...Miss...Miss....ugh....

What the?!?!!??!

I just came back from work and I was so excited cos its C.S.I night!!!!

But to my disbelieve, C.S.I has been cancelled to make way for the Miss Universe pageant!!!! What nonsense is this!?!? I can't believe that Channel 5 would cancel the best thing in home television and air Miss Universe instead!!!!!! What the?!?!? Why???? Why??? Why!?!?!?

Who on earth would want to watch 80 beautiful women in their bikinis prancing on stage dancin.....dan....da...da.....

Ok, ok...I take it back. It ain't that bad after all.

Anyway, whenever the Miss Universe pageant comes to mind...I can only think of 2 words. Ok..I have to get this right...

*ahem*...World Peeeeeeeace.....

Cliched right? I sometimes wonder which Miss Universe came up with that stupid answer. After years of scrutiny, the Miss Universe pageant has grown old and people seemed to have formed a mentality that it was all just a gathering of the world's greatest dumb blondes competiting who's breast is bigger.

Still, over the years, time and time again, people seem to inject so much glamour into the pageant. Making it such a big deal and its a life and death kinda thing.

Though, I must admit its never really easy to be participating in these kinda of pageants. The sleepless nights, the behind-the-scenes bitching and cat-figthing, the constant monitoring of their physique, being prim and proper....and all that jazz. Sigh.....I bet those girls go thru hell. I wish I could be there to comfort and console them through all the hard times and also......ok, ok...I'm fatasizing again.

Back to the point. Again, I guess the big hoo-haa about the whole pageant is actually over-rated. Its too much obsession and emphasis invested into the whole thing. And the term Universe?!?! Isn't that taking it a little bit too far???? First there's Miss World, and then there's Miss Universe. Now, from a lay-man's point of view? I don't see a friggin difference. Is there a hierarchy? Is there a flow-chart that shows the different levels of beauty? Sheesh.....does it mean if the gal that wins have to rule over the whole universe???? And the one who got Miss World have to bow to her?

"Duh...hi Miss Universe, I'm Miss world. How are you? The world's just fine. How's the universe doing?"

What the f*ck?!?! The more I think of it, the more ridiculous it is!!!!

Now, I'm starting to feel the whole thing is just plain stupid. Miss Universe....crap. Sigh....maybe I'm just pissed they cancelled C.S.I..... Then again.......geee....since I have nothing to do....err....Miss Peru! Miss Vanezeula! Miss Ecuador! Miss India! Miss Germany! Here I come!!!!!!!

Tricks of the "Trade"

OkaAaAAAaaAAAaay....

Today I'm gonna touch on a topic thats a lil bit......touchy?

Ok girls and boys....err...and all those in between. I'm sure all of us has at some point gawk at a hot looking babe or dude as we're walking along Orchard Road, MRT stations or even along the 5 foot path.

Its just simply irresistable, isn't? The eye wanders and we are constantly hooked on "pretty" figures that catches our attention.

So, lets start with the girls.....how hot do you think you are? Easy.

Recently, I was on my way home from work with a friend. And as we were walking along the MRT underpass; I noticed every guy that walks pass my friend would try to catch a glimpse of how she looked like. And then it occured to me......that's what we guys do all the time! Some guys just can't help it. Its like this sexy silhouette is just right in front of you...and you just cant help but to "admire" it. To put it crudely? Its like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey.

Think about it...if you're walking behind this young hot thing....you'll wanna know how she looks like. True? So, what guys normally do, is that they speed up their pace and try to see whether if she's pretty; as they walk pass them. It usually goes something like this....

Personally, I would call this the "full time football match". If the chick in front of you looks hot from the back....she's won the first half. And then....there's the second half when you see the.....front. Ok...I shall not elaborate more.

Hence, the moral of the story is.....girls. If you ever catch a guy walking pass you and turning their heads to look at you......you have the goods.

Next...this is something more useful for the guys.

If ever you are in the same situation; and you spot this SERIOUSLY curvaceous babe and you you can't seem to see if she's pretty.....then here's a tip for you.

For heaven's sake, when walking behind a gal....stop looking at her ass. And start looking.....at the guys coming from the opposite direction. Make sense? Well, simple. You can get an indication of whether she's really pretty if all the guys coming from the opposite direction can't get keep their eyes off her when they pass by. Additionally, if you see a guy with his mouth wide open, his jaw touching the floor and also drooling at the same time...then I guess she's a winner.

But then again....the gal might just have a huge mole on her nose. Either way....its worth a look.

So, for all of you dudes and babes out there...I hope this information will prove useful when the time calls for it. Its just a small pysche of how guys think I guess.

Disclaimer: The author shall not be liable for any damages (physical or mental) caused from any miscommunication, misconception, misunderstanding or confusion between the 2 genders. Any practice/malpractice of the guidelines provided above are entire at your own risk. And if at any point of time any parties want to file a complaint towards the author? Screw you.

Wake up, old man...

1. Exhaustion
2. Lethargy
3. Inaccurate strokes
4. Blurry vision

Ladies and gentlemen, the above are the symptoms of a person who has not played badminton for the past 2 years.

Sigh....I'm getting old and out of shape.

Today I took part in the company badminton tournament in the mixed doubles category. Initially it was really a frustrating start to the game when I can't seem to get my shots right and I keep on making silly mistakes.

And it also doesn't help to feel exhausted after just 30 minutes of playing the first match. Man, I'm seriously out of shape. From the days of hiking up Pantai Keracut, organising traning camp and not sleeping for 3 days......I'm seriously out of shape. I can already tell that tomorrow morning I'm gonna have a tough time waking up for work. Damn, shouldn't have applied for OT.

But later on, when I played the next match, I started to get my game going and my strokes back in form. But it was already too late. The co-ordination between me and my partner was off and the other team capitalised on that. Before we knew it, we were already ousted from the competition.

Still, with all said and done.....I really enjoyed myself. Its been a long long time since I played badminton and I missed it alot. Its the rush and you can feel the adrenaline pumping with every stroke. I remember when I used to play it so much that my body will react and move by itself when the shuttle-cock is served back at my direction. The mind doesn't think...its just sheer insticnts.

Looks like I'm far, far, far from the level I used to play. But what the heck!! Hahahahah...as long as I enjoy the game.

Hmmmmm....talking about badminton; I also miss the time when I used to watch the Thomas Cup finals on TV every time its played. I remember the heroes and the legends of yesteryear which really made me love the game so much. There was also this once where me and my dad went to watch a live Malaysian Open at the Penang PISA stadium. I was so excited about it I was like a kid! But nowadays, the current Malaysian players really.........errr....cannot make it.

However, one thing's for sure. I really have to go on a diet and do more excercise!!!! Time to get those endorphines pumping!

Time too wake up, old man......you ain't that old.

Inside Your Heaven

I've been down,

Now I'm blessed,

I feel a revalation coming around,

I guess its right,

So Amazing,

Everytime I see you I'm alive,

You all I've got,

The sun and the moon light,

All my dreams are in your eyes,

I want to be inside your heaven.

The words above came from a song from Bo Bice,....the American Idol finalist. Strangely, I can't seem to find any information as regards to this song in the Internet.

But after I heard this song.....it really struck a cord with me. It really made me feel that......its nice to be in love. Something which I have not felt in a long long time.... This song really made me remember the blissful days when I was in love and it really meant something to be loved by someone else.

Just the other day when I was cleaning my room, I stumbled across some notes my ex used to leave around the house for me. I wasn't really affected by the notes, but more of the signages of the notes. She would use words like darling, sweetheart, dear......And I was thinking, I really miss the feeling of being in a relationship. Its nice to hear someone calling you all those sweet nothings.

Also, I kinda miss all those stuff couples do together; grocery shopping, cooking, playing games, teasing each other..... sigh.

I sometimes do think will I ever be able to find love again. Will I be able to love someone with all my heart and want nothing else but her happiness. Then again, in my heart I feel I am not good enough for any girl out there.

But I guess that's my unicorn...my myth. Love is something I have gave up looking for long long time ago. I'll just let it come by itself....even if it comes.

But its nice isn't it? To be deliriously in love.

The River

Recently alot of things have been going through my mind.

One being that I'm wasting my time. And I feel that I should be doing something else.

Today is my off day. Unusually, I'm not in office working the OT shift. I was so pre-occupied with so many things that I forgot to apply for OT. And hence, on days like this...when I'm at home slacking. I feel that I'm really wasting my time. All I do is eat, sleep and watch TV the entire day. And the problem is, I don't know what to do with all the time I have. Somewhere in my mind, I feel that this is not what a successful person should be doing.

Normally for people who are capable and successful, every minute of their time is invested in some self-improvement course or planning and startegising their future wealth making ideas. For me......I'm plain lazy. One day I guess....laziness and procrastination will be the death of me.

Subsequently, I also don't know where my job is leading me. Been thinking alot about my current job. The prospect seemed bleak and uncertain. But sometimes I kid myself and start to give myself false hope. I always tell myself....if I don't get out of this job anytime soon....I'll have to see it through to the end. If I put in 100% into it...maybe one day I can make it big in the call center industry. Then again, I also think that with the kinda of 100% effort I put into it....I can achieve so much more in another job.

Still, I keep on telling myself life is full of surprises and unexpected twists. I believe there are better things in store for me if I'm patient. And all things will come by itself and fall into place. Somebody once said this to me, "Only worry about how you are going to cross the river when you get to the river. Only then, you will know what to do." Complacent as it may sound, I find that its a good advice. When the time comes, I'll know what to do.

Oh yeah....and finally my articles have been published in the company newsletter. I must admit I was pleasantly surprised with a complimentary letter for one of my articles. Apparently, I was told that the article I wrote was bold and humorous..... I was really happy about it.

A friend even joked to me that I should quit my current job and start my career as a columnist. Sheesh...must say that the thought of that has never really entered my mind. I have never taken my writing seriously and I write for the fun of it. And also, I know for a fact that I'm not that good. I know my own level of writing and I still have a long long long way to go~~~!

So, for now...I'll continue my struggle with my current job. And when I come to the river, I will then face the problem of crossing it....and I know a solution will soon present itself.

A year older

Its been a while...

Ever since I celebrated my 24th birthday, haven't updated my blog at all. Been so caught up with so many other things, I didn't have the time to write anything constructive for the past few days.

Still, as for my birthday celebrations? Happy to report I had alot of fun.

It was a relatively peaceful birthday I had. On the eve of my birthday, I went quitely in to the night. There wasn't any fanfare, there wasn't any countdown, there wasn't any big party or drinking. There was just....me, at home, surfing the net.....chatting with some friends online. I kinda liked it.

The next morning, I woke up early to do some grocery shopping and marketing. I needed to buy some fresh stock of poultry and vegetables for the "small" steamboat dinner that I was organising for my colleages. And after that, throughout the day.....I watched TV, slept, ate my lunch...and slept some more.

And then finally at around 5pm, I started to get ready and started cooking.

Sigh =)

Preparing for steamboat really brings me back to alot of memories. Always have alot of good memories when it comes to steamboat. Nevertheless, Chun and Marcel came around 7pm. We started off first; when later Miki and Alan came around 9pm. And next, I had an unexpected visitor. A pleasant surprise really. A friend of Marcel, Shu Lynn came to visit me with the insistence of Marcel I think. But it was really nice to see her. The more the merrier.

It was really nice. Being around friends, having a quite dinner seemed like a really good way to spend my birthday. Later, Cassie, Jeo and Alzari came to join in the fun.

Hehe.....I was kinda happy that we manage to finish off the food that I bought earlier. And for the first time in all my life...I got 3 cakes for my birthday! Thank god all of them were different types of cakes. So I didn't mind it at all. There was a Tiramisu cake (compliments of Shu Lynn), a ice-cream cake (compliments of Alan and Alzari), and finally....a cheesecake that I ordered myself!! And all I can say is simply......deeeee-leeeee-shiiiiii-ussssssss!!!!

All in all, I really enjoyed my birthday this year. It was alot of fun just having dinner with friends and chatting the night away. Hmmmm....things have seem to change over the years. I used to be so excited about birthdays and usually I would like to celebrate it with a bang. I would be out with friends on the eve, I would have grand ideas of going out, clubbing, spending the entire day shopping or something like that.

Oddly, this year, I celebrated it differently. Either I have lost the magic of celebrating birthdays....or I am simply....getting old.

May the force be with you...

*Grins*

Guess what? That's right.......I've watched Star Wars III : Revenge of the Sith!!!!!!!

WoOoOOooOOOhOOoooOoOO!!! Call me a nerd! Call me a geek! I'm proud to be one!!!!

All the geeks and nerds around the world rejoice as the Star Wars saga came to an end. And it did...with a bang.

The 3rd installment of the Star Wars saga was simply fantastic. No doubt that the pace of the movie was really frantic; and I'm sure that many fanboys and film critics will have their words about the show...but I loved it. The movie might have its minor quirks as it actually tries and rush through, tying up as many loose ends as possible. Still, if you look at the bigger picture and see it as a whole, together with all the other 5 movies...then you'll see a masterpiece at work.

I guess, the best part of the movie for me was when Anakin Skywalker donned the Darth Vader costume. It was simply nostalgic to see the costume back in action after so many years of absence from the silver screen. And the moment that black shiny helmet was put on......there it is.....the mighty, the evil, the dark, the malevolent....Lord Vader. And everything else falls into place.

However, enough about Star Wars. I actually wanna dedicate today's posting to a few special people which really made a difference in my life. They are Rena, Carmen, Kerwynn and Marcel.

You see, I was going to organise a small get-together at my place on the 20th. And unfortunately, Carmen has to go back to KL a day earlier to attend to her father's business. So, she invited a few of us to her place last night for dinner. Just for the sake of good old times and also give us a chance to catch up with one another.

To my surprise, when I got there...Carmen actually took the time to cook quite a majestic meal for us! The food was excellent and we really enjoyed ourselves catching up on our lives.

But what happened next almost broke me down in tears. They surprised me with a birthday cake.....

Sigh.....

I was so happy that I just couldnt believe I had such good friends. I don't know what I had done to deserve such wonderful friends. And I really wanna tell this to all of them. I will never forget them. They have helped me through rough times and was really there for me. Through think and thin. Through good and bad. They have always been there.

When I blew the candles, they asked me to make a wish first. Silently, I kept quiet....and made my wish.

And I later on just told them one thing. And wish...for simply nothing. Cos, I have all the things I wanted and I could not ask for more. You see, last year was really a bad year for me. And sometimes, I just couldn't believe how things have turned around. From utter sadness and torment....to sheer joy and happiness. Things are so different.

I told them that night....I might not have alot of money. I might have alot of the things I want. But one thing I am happy to "not have"....is sadness and problems.

Life is so carefree these days though I have a few qualms. But I could never be happier. I'm just so grateful that I don't have issues and problems in my life now. That's enough for me.

What I do have....is great, great, great friends.

An Uneventful Day

Uneventful. That would be the word I'd describe my day. And that's exactly the way I like it.

Had a really late night sleep last night. Went over to Holland V with Cassie, Angela, Marcel and J-Jeo. We spent most of our time at Breko after Wala-Wala had to close at 2AM.

From Wala-Wala to Breko, we really had a good time. We shared alot of info and gossip since that now most of us are being seperated from each other. Me and Cassie were in the Buddy System, Marcel's in the Corp Hotline, Angela's with the rest of the CSO's on the floor and J-Jeo in re-service.

We left around 4.30AM and when I got home, I was so tired I immediately went to bed after taking a shower. And then....I woke up today around 1PM.

Woke up today feeling really good actually. For the first time in weeks, I had a Sunday off and I wasn't working OT. The idea about not going to office for 1 day puts my mind and ease and I just wanna stay home and relax. And that's what I did.

Initially, I thought of going out the get lunch when I woke up. But then, suddenly I had the urge to take a whack and continue my Jade Empire. And you know what?

As I continued to play........the next thing I knew....it was already 7.30PM!!! I was playing Jade Empire for 6 and a half hours straight!! The problem was, every level that I manage to overcome, I thought it was gonna be the final level. But it wasn't. Still, I was so determined to finish the game that I ignored my grumbling stomach and presevered!!!

And Ladies and Gents...I'm proud to say I've finished the game!!! I conquered the Jape Empire in just 3 days!!! Wahahahaha!!!! Man, it was satisfying.

Alas, I went out to get some dinner (finally!!) and came back to do some spring cleaning. Took some time to re-arrange my book closet and clean up my room seeing that I'll be having some guest over in a few days time.

All in all, the day was uneventful...but still satisfying and productive. Manage to get alot of rest and also clean up my house which I have been procastinating for some time.

Now, only if the day would last a little bit longer.....

Start date: 1977, End date: 2005

Long, time a go, in a galaxy far far away......sounds familiar?

Well, this introduction line has its resonance in history. And it all started from a movie that began almost 20 years ago....

STAR WARS.

Finally!!! The 3rd installment of the Star Wars saga is now here and I have already bought the movie tix to the preview sceening on the 18th!!!!!! Star Wars fanboys, eat your hearts out!!!!!

I seriously can't wait. As a fanboy myself, I have always loved Star Wars. From the very first movie, Episode 4: A New Hope, I have been watching and hooked on to Star Wars ever since. I must admit, at that point of time, I feel that Luke Skywalker was a bloody sissy....and the only character that was on everyone's mind is Darth Vader a.k.a Anakin Skywalker a.k.a Luke's dad. And this guy really has mental issues. I mean, this guy is pure evil personified. Just think about it.....there has never been another villian like him in history of movie making. This guy could scare the shit out of you just by the the sound of his breathing!! And you don't even have to see him yet! I'm sure every Storm Trooper knows what I mean. With his infamous Death Choke, many many Imperial Officers or Storm Troopers will shiver with just the sound of his breathing. This guy really give asmathic patients something to cheer about.

Here's the chronology of the Star Wars Saga.








Looking back at Episode 4, 5 and 6, you will notice that sometimes the costumes and digital effects are kinda corny....but from the help of the illustrious George Lucas, he has re-released the box-set of the first trilogy in all its glory. Then again, some would really ask...why did he start the saga from Episode 4? Isn't that stupid? Well, I'd say George was a genius. He started off Episode 4 for the primary reason that he simply didn't have the cinematic technology to start filming Episode 1. Instead, he started Episode 4 off so brilliantly that you didn't realli need the first 3 episodes. And when you get to Episode 6, you're just dying to see the first 3...cos you want to know how it all began.

From a broader perspective, Star Wars really have its inclinations with the world today. We can learn many things about it. Ultimately, its a fight between good and evil; the Jedis and the Sith Lords. The Force and the Dark Side. And its a story of only 1 man to be exact. Luke Skywalker? No. Anakin Skywalker.

Many enthusiats initially got the wrong idea that the whole saga was all about Luke Skywalker. But actually the story revolves around his father. From episode 1, it has all about how Anakin was found, joined the Jedi Order, succumb to the Dark Side....and at last found his way back with the help of his son.

Man oh man....I'm really damn excited about watching it on this 18th. I simply can't wait!!!! Everyone knows Star Wars. Its a household name. Its a religion (Its true! have read in a forum that some people think that the Force actually exists!). Its an epic. Its a way of life. And the lightsaber? Up till today....the coolest weapon ever fictionalised!!!! There is non other like it! Whenever you see a Jedi whip it out on screen with that zhhhaauuuuuu sound effect, sheer excitement! You know for sure that they're gonna do something cool with it.

But if you haven't heard of Star Wars before....please, I beg you. Shoot yourself. In the head. Twice.

Soon! Soon! Very Soon!!!

My, my, my....look at the date.

And I know exactly what that means.......its just another day.

Hahahaa....well, actually it means that its only 8 days away from yours truly's birthday!!!!! And to be honest, I am looking forward for this year's birthday.

I really had a rough birthday last year which is filled with sorrow and sadness. I was thinking seeing that it was my first year in Singapore and I had my own place and all...it would be a great birthday. However, it turned out differently. Very differently. You see.....I had my heart torned out last year on my birthday. The images of what exactly happened still burns in my memory and it still leaves a scar. Some would say, it was all just a co-incidence that my ex broke-off with me on my birthday....and other's would say its just plain cruelty.
I would say......

Nothing.

It happened in the past. It should be left in the past and I have nothing to say at all.

So, this year's gonna rock!!! I have stock up my supply of booze and its gonna be one hell of a birthday this year. I have my bechelor pad....and I'm inviting some frens over for steamboat and some boozin'! In retrospect, I'm really happy this year. Everything's going well, I don't have many worries weighing on my mind, and I can finally truly be happy with the company of close friends. I could not ask for more.....

Hehe...I'm actually in a feel good mood. I have just finished watching The Amazing Race. And believe me, I was at the edge of my seat the entire time! It was really nerve-wrecking to see Uchenna/Joyce and Rob/Amber battling it out till the finish line. There isn't any secret who I'm rooting for....Uchenna and Joyce!!!!!! Uchenna basically has been a stand up guy from Day 1. He believes in goodwill and faith to pull him through to the end. Also, he has morals, values and most importantly; integrity. Something which many people are lacking these days. Not to mention, he's a real good husband to Joyce.....it was so touching to see how supportive of him when Joyce has to sacrifice her hair for the Fast Forward challenge. He's a good man with a good heart. He deserve the victory.

On the other hand? Rob has been a total prick. I must admit that he and Amber played the game well, and they have been extremely lucky. But what I can do without is that damn arrogance!!! Who the F*ck does he think he is? Throughout the whole race he was dissin' people off and steppin on people's shoes. This guy needs to attend Humility 101.

Anyway, I guess all's well, ends well. I'm really happy to see this time.....the nice guy finish first. Truly, an Amazing Race.

Java-fied? C.S.I-fied!!!!!!!!

Ever heard of the term java-fied? Well, its the term used when someone had too much coffee to drink. Well, I'm C.S.I-fied.

I managed to got hold of the latest C.S.I episodes and have been watching C.S.I nonstop for the past few weeks. You name it, I have been watching C.S.I: Miami, C.S.I, and even the new series, C.S.I: New York. On average, I have been wathing almost up to 4 episodes a day. I can't get enough of it!!! Episode after episode, I just wanna go on and on!!

Oh...for the uninitated, if you haven't heard of C.S.I before....go shoot yourself. C.S.I is short for Crime Scene Investigation. Its about these kick-ass forensic experts that solve crimes with their heads and uses science in an ultra cool fashion.....rather than go guns blazing, whack everyone in sight and ask questions later. These guys put doctors and GPs to shame. They can use any tool imaginable to solve a crime. From a speck of dust, to a wad of spit...they can solve the crime in seconds.

One thing I love about these shows is that....you learn something. It teaches you to think logically and cross-reference facts to solve puzzles and mysteries. And also, its educational to a level that its scary! At the end of each episode, you would go...."OhhHHhHHhhhh,....I didnt know that!"

After so many hours of C.S.I.....my head is now full of forensic jargon. After so many episode, I know exactly what they are talking about...things like, sub-dermal hemathoma, cranial hemmorhage, high velocity blood splatter, APHIS, CODIS, ballistics analysis, modus operandi, and many many more. Heeee....did I mention I'm mad about this show?

Sigh....at the end....I would also go like...."when i go up...i wanna be just like that" =)

But seriously...these guys put coolness into geeks and nerds all around the world! Who knew that cinematically a guy looking into a microscope would look so stylish. Still, I guess C.S.I has been really keeping me up all night for the past few weeks.

Can't seem to get enough of it. Have to make sure I watch 1 episode before I go to sleep. Hmmmm...come to think of it....I think I'll go watch it now!!!!!!!

Post-morten injuries, lacerations and blunt force trauma...here I come!!!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day

It's that time of the year again. And being so far away from home, I'm felt kinda guilty not being able to celebrate this special day with me mum.

Honestly, I consider myself to be the luckiest guy on Earth to have a mother like that. She has sacrificed a lot for the family and I guess she has guided me and taught me to be the person I am today. As a son, the last thing I would ever want to do is to dissapoint her. I do not even know am I able to ever pay her back for all she has done for me.

But for today, I just wanna tell her....Happy Mother's Day. =)

*smiles* had another good night sleep last night. Working the afternoon shift really have it perks. I can sleep late and wake up late feeling refresh! Haha....even though I might not have a social life, but I guess afternoon shifts gives me more time for myself. So, I guess its all about striking a balance between morning shifts and afternoon shifts. In some ways, this is one of the advantages of working by staggered shifts.

Was playing my new Xbox game last night.....Jade Empire. Must say its really really good! It was from the makers of Star Wars: Knights of the old Republic - Bioware. I could really relate to it as the story line lies to something close to heart...chinese mythology. I was so immersed in the game last night I ended sleeping around 3am! One thing that I find kinda hilarious is that the names of the characters in the game is really cliched. I don't know why, but these western game developers always think that Chinese people must have a "title" to their name. The was....Furious Ming, Dawn Star, Sagacious Zu, Sun Li the Great Strategist.......funny right? Still, the game entertained me alot; especially with its though-provoking story line. It kinda surprised me as there were many twist and turns to the plot, somewhat of a Chinese serial drama! Anyway, I guess this game will keep me company until I get my hands on my new PC and the PS2 Slim......

Yes! You heard it right ladies and gentlemen! I'm getting a PS2 as well!!! Wahahahahaha....been thinking about it for quite sometime now and really excited to get one.

Oh, one thing I just remembered.....was working OT yesterday morning and I had this really......surreal call. A prepaid card customer called in. She wanted to check the balance on her card. And after advicing the card balance she had....

Me: Is there anything else I can do for you?
Customer: *giggles* well, not really...but can I know how old are you?
Me: *stunned* errr....well...
Customer: You have a very sweet voice. You sound really nice on the phone.
Me: Oh...thank you. Err...I'm 24 actually.
Customer: I see, you sound very sweet and boyish.
Me: (not knowing what to say or how to react) Thank you....... I appreciate it.
Customer: Welcome. Anyway, nice chatting with you. Bye!

Trust me.....I was left staring at the PC for a while. But after I recovered....I started laughing to myself. It a really funny moment as for the first time working in this line, a customer actually said anything of the sort to me. As a CSO, I guess we come across all kinds of people. The good, the bad and the weird.

Still, then again....for the call from that customer? It was really a pleasant surprise.